Just leave..

I woke up feeling gloomy and a little murky despite I had a good time at the party last night. High school mate’s birthday party if you want to know. Initially I planned not to go college today but then automatically I was up before 8am. So I thought what the heck, I’m going for the heck of attendance then. I got up packed my stuff in less than 5 minutes and headed for the shower. I put on my longer stud and picked my ‘Keep Back 300 feet’ shirt to wear today since I’m feeling antisocial.

College sucks today. Big time. Boring lessons so basically being the lazy bummet that I am, I was sleeping through the lectures. Believe me, I just found out that I can get frustrated at boredom. Hah. I started fidgeting with my fingernails if you get what I mean. I kept changing positions in every 10 minutes. I even finished half a liter water within half an hour’s time. I sagged while I walk.

To add to the record, I got irritated by the service of the cyber café and also my mother. Bah.

I came back and I got the telephone bills today. Not good. Double the frustration.

I dropped everything on the floor or the table and I straight took everything off, took a shower to cool myself down and then I was on the bed. I had no trouble of giving moisturization to my eyes and yet I had no trouble of sleeping then. The thing that disturbs my sleep is my alarm clock, I let it snoozed for a few times that I actually lost count of it. I feel so comfortable and cozy, that is why I refuse to get up. I know I have my presentation slides to do. I know I shouldn’t be sleeping. I know I should be making good use of the time. I know I have my assignment to do. But what’s keeping me? Laziness.

Ah, screw it.

I managed to get up after a phone call from someone I don’t know. Wrong number.

Bastards.

I got up and I felt like blogging. But of course I’m just plain lazy to go through the events that happened since the last time I blogged.

So what do I do now?

I still blog.

Of course, I’m talking crap.

And listening to In Da Club by 50 cent.

Shit. I remember so vividly his smell. It’s so manly and so clear in my mind. But I’m feeling a lil sour in my feeble heart. I don’t want this and I don’t need this. I need not take shit from him. I should pack up and go. What’s keeping me? For the first time, I’m blaming the magnetic force. I’m arguing with myself that I’m going through a phase where I want to find myself free from him.

It’s starting to get dark in here. This song is the one.

i'm so tired of being here
suppressed by all my childish fears
and if you have to leave
i wish that you would just leave
'cause your presence still lingers here
and it won't leave me alone

these wounds won't seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase

you used to captivate me
by your resonating life
now i'm bound by the life you left behind
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away
all the sanity in me

i've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
but though you're still with me
i've been alone all along

~taken from my immortal by evanescense

Do you understand me now?