My Dream.

i just woke up not long ago.

i feel the urge to write this down.

it happened not long ago. i dreamt about you.

you were looking handsome as usual. i was there drooling at you. you said something/someone was trashing you in friendster, which in reality you are not active at all because you were so indie. that somehow lead to a new layout in your website.

while we're at it, you put up some of the poems that you wrote. not necessarily for me. but i thought it was for me anyway because you said it was me who inspires you to write those.

it rhymes with my name and you linked me up.

for a moment i thought i was in heaven. i thought i was injected with endorphins for once. i swear i could feel my heart pounding faster and faster when i read the poem. gosh, at least i was always facinated by that idea. i swear i could feel your presence. i think i could even feel your breath.

i woke up when i wanted to hug you.

it was sad. i realized that i could not have you. i could not even hold you. i could not even hug you.

in real life, you perhaps already have another one. a better one.

but i dont know, im always hanging around in the midst of confusion. my love was never justified. i was always taken for granted.

for a moment there, i wish that i would continue dreaming. so that i could see you, yes i was *that* close in hugging you. i wish so hard that i closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

but that didnt happen.

why do i always dream of you? why must i always see you in my dreams?

i am here writing this down and wondering why it didnt happen.

[soundbites]
ben harper - when she believes