Stillness of My Being.
Ever feel like you’re so alone in the world? Everything is moving in such a fast phase, even you don't catch up with age. But you feel static, you feel the wind blowing through your face and you’re observing. You feel calm as ever. In your heart, you feel cold inside.
pic taken by Regina.
Nobody or nothing is going to give you the stimulation to feel anything. You need motivation to move and to do something to distract your mind. You need inspiration to make you feel something. You need something to make you feel connected to the world. Its like nothing in this world matter to you anymore. Or at least at the moment. Hell I know at the back of my head there’s exams and assignment to think of right now but I guess I’ve managed to push it aside for now. I need some enthusiasm in my life. Goddamn I know whenever I was handed a set of responsibilities I will try my best to achieve it. But do I really want to make the choice of taking up the set of responsibilities?
Hell I could be happy and jolly about my life. I guess I am, I’m contented about my life but sometimes I just need some perks in life you know? Leading a mundane life in this jungle is killing my spirits. It’s so monotonous I think my brain is stuck in reality. I know I want to be high spirited and blissful but I need an angel to give me a hug. I need to live in the world of dreams sometimes. But is there anything I would like to dream about?
If I daydream about him, would it be fruitful? I mean hell it has been a year or so but can I still stuck in that phase where I would fantasize about him nonstop and to think about him every night before I go to sleep? It gets me down sometimes so I guess that is the reason why I don’t want to fantasize anymore.
If I live up with reality, how much effort do I have to put up with the disappointments that I get? The city and the jungle is cold, they make no difference. Whenever I connect to someone, they just have to go away without any reasons. You question yourself why but you never did get an answer. I guess that’s the reason why I stopped living in reality.
But the thing is, it's like I’m stuck in between reality and fantasy.
I need balance.
[soundbites]
Joseph Arthur - Honey And The Moon
Ever feel like you’re so alone in the world? Everything is moving in such a fast phase, even you don't catch up with age. But you feel static, you feel the wind blowing through your face and you’re observing. You feel calm as ever. In your heart, you feel cold inside.
pic taken by Regina.
Nobody or nothing is going to give you the stimulation to feel anything. You need motivation to move and to do something to distract your mind. You need inspiration to make you feel something. You need something to make you feel connected to the world. Its like nothing in this world matter to you anymore. Or at least at the moment. Hell I know at the back of my head there’s exams and assignment to think of right now but I guess I’ve managed to push it aside for now. I need some enthusiasm in my life. Goddamn I know whenever I was handed a set of responsibilities I will try my best to achieve it. But do I really want to make the choice of taking up the set of responsibilities?
Hell I could be happy and jolly about my life. I guess I am, I’m contented about my life but sometimes I just need some perks in life you know? Leading a mundane life in this jungle is killing my spirits. It’s so monotonous I think my brain is stuck in reality. I know I want to be high spirited and blissful but I need an angel to give me a hug. I need to live in the world of dreams sometimes. But is there anything I would like to dream about?
If I daydream about him, would it be fruitful? I mean hell it has been a year or so but can I still stuck in that phase where I would fantasize about him nonstop and to think about him every night before I go to sleep? It gets me down sometimes so I guess that is the reason why I don’t want to fantasize anymore.
If I live up with reality, how much effort do I have to put up with the disappointments that I get? The city and the jungle is cold, they make no difference. Whenever I connect to someone, they just have to go away without any reasons. You question yourself why but you never did get an answer. I guess that’s the reason why I stopped living in reality.
But the thing is, it's like I’m stuck in between reality and fantasy.
I need balance.
[soundbites]
Joseph Arthur - Honey And The Moon
Rambled at
11:12 PM
3 Comments:
Daydreaming sometimes make reality more bearable
:)
By
justine, at October 20, 2004 1:42 PM
With enough determination, you can sometimes make your own reality.
P/S: That is one helluva blur picture eh?
By
Ah Moi, at October 22, 2004 3:51 PM
Likki:
Justine - heh i wanna have half yer brain, can? currently i can only think of my finals. :/ argh!
Regina - though its blurry but then its artistic i suppose :P
By
Anonymous, at October 22, 2004 9:24 PM
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