Some New Start

How does it feel to fall sick on new year’s day until now. I guess I reminisced too much that insomnia has taken its toll on me. No wait, lets just say since the holiday started. I guess it’s the turmoil of holidays. I was caught online this early morning around 4.30am by my mom. What is the problem anyway? I just don’t see it.

I ended up reading thru Prozac Nation and my cousin sister mumbled and scolded me for whatever fucking reason that isn’t relevant at all. What is her fucking problem with me? What did I do wrong that she has to go against me and holding the grudge against me? She doesn’t give a damn about me and what she wants to do is to banish me. I hate my life.

I felt extremely low and alone these days. I’m seeking attention. I tried calling someone yesterday and after it rung once, I hung up immediately. Not knowing the reason why.

Scott called and informed me that he just got back from Singapore and he just broke up with his girlfriend. Yeah, like I give a shit about it.

I have a fucking piercing urge to satisfy.

I went to gurney just now and went shopping with Kam. I was looking at myself through the lady’s mirror and I saw Ming and then met up with whole bunch of usual mates. I couldn’t help myself but to hug them and to do our secret handshake. Well, it’s only for Shant anyway. He likes it when I do it with him. ;)

We were in East India’s fitting room while I tried out one crossed back spaghetti strap tank top and one halter top, she suddenly exclaimed saying that she likes my yellowish lacey bra! Sheesh. She’s going to get it tomorrow. LOLl!!

After a few hours of shopping, our outing will never be complete without sitting down at some place, have a cup of coffee and smoke. We indulged ourselves with blueberry cheesecake and pure chocolate ice blended. I offered her my Davidoff and she likes it.

While we were sitting down, nicely sipping our pure chocolate ice blended, I spotted one really hot guy. Damn, that is the kind of guy that I want to date! Sigh. I am so unlucky to feel lucky.
Charmingly spiked up hair do, cargo shorts, a Nike shirt, a pair of sneakers, few necklaces worn around the neck, carrying one Mambo backpack. He looks like a Caucasian but then he looks like one Chinese guy. Oh he is hot. He’s neither skinny nor fat, well-build, just nice. Broad shoulders and speaks English. Okay, okay, I’m drooling over here. But what really matters is his personality. Those were just material shits anyway.

god, why don’t you bless me this kind of guy with good personality instead of some jerk who I was dating at that time, snuggled up with my friend in front of me while smooching, I mean French kissing each other and dirty dancing for almost an hour and became a couple after two days?

Oh, shite, I’m wandering off to my self pity and loneliness again.

I got to go batu feringghi to get some cds tomorrow.

Lastly, today's Philippe and Putra's birthday.
Happy Birthday boys. :)

alright, signing off to subaidah. hurrah.

[soundbites]
Mogwai – Take Me Somewhere Nice
Mogwai – Cody