Conversations.

sometimes i think im being surrounded by selfish or rather ignorant people.

for instance, you sent them sms telling them that you thought of them, or when you heard a song or saw something that reminds you so much of that person, you smsed that person. even if you think that you were being rude because you had to cut the conversation short and sms telling them that you are sorry.. and what do you get?

nothing.

you chat with them in icq just because you know that they are away from home, studying and living alone in a foreign country. may it be merely for the purpose of tanya khabar or cheering them up or perhaps something to remind them of home. hey, thats what friends are for right? you try hard to keep the conversation going.

in this case, you get lack of response. one/two word(s) reply. or maybe one sided conversation. though optional.

i dont believe that friends drifted apart because the reason is the distance.

otherwise, im glad, in a way that i do have a few in my msn list who probably msged me and then after awhile, stopped the conversation by turning into the above mentioned response.

then what is the point of msging if you dont want to keep a conversation going?

i cant help to feel that way whenever i come online.

the phone doesnt ring on an ordinary basis, last time i got a mail from someone was in 2003, my phone inbox contains some old smses which dated back in Sept 2003, except that my capacity of of HD is running out due to excessive mp3 downloads.

what do you say? is it because im really bad at keeping a conversation going? perhaps im too serious to be in a conversation? might be because my english is crappy?

so.. my friends are denying me as a friend then?

its funny how this sentence struck me awhile ago.
actually, harsh.

how can i not turn to myself? or else who should i turn to?

[soundbites]
Eagles - Hotel California