My afterthought.

Pfffddtt.

Thanks for reading my previous entry. It was difficult to write that, couldnt help myself but to falter and then hit the sack that night. But it has been almost a week and Im doing fine now.

I attended college as usual, well except that I skipped one class the day after her departure, assignments pending as usual, leave my bunk undone as usual, drive around half of the whole island and then sleep at night as usual.

Life really goes on.

I've always been the only faithful one that console myself after my depression or sad episodes. So no worries, Im still in one piece with a lil bit of sunken breakdowns here and there. But I'll be fine.

I feel wordless when someone is feeling what I was feeling like the previous entry. It was so intense that I wished it'd go away that every moment for everything to be alright. But that would be impossible and probably denial for me. I then decided that I'd keep quiet and secretly console that someone with my imagination hugs and shoulder because that is what I want to do, that is what I should do, dammit.

Even now, after days of ordinary boring routines, I was thinking maybe it was because of her that we are close. Now that she's not around, what are we now? Are we still considerd as 'close'? Frankly speaking, Im afraid that things might change. I might not be a good friend.

I tried. I want to be a good friend because I want to. I resist the change because of her departure. But the question is, is there a change anyway?

Maybe it's too early to say anything. Maybe Im paranoid. Maybe I care too much. Maybe Im desperate. Maybe Im pathetic. Maybe I dont matter at all.

Maybe.. just maybe.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I got an email today from a fellow blogger today asking me if Im fine.
Thank you. You know who you are.

I thought of having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone, but everyone seems to be so occupied and busy.

Well, too late to complain already, Im hitting the sack.

Rush to find my way
I hope I'll make it back tomorrow
to where I belong

[soundbites]
Frankie J - Dont Wanna Try