Ambigous. Love in a Mist.

I sure cant hide the things that you did to me and how unhappy I was.
I cannot pretend that.
I cannot be.
I cannot erase the memory.

I cant hide the sweetness,
I cant hide the bitterness.

At the same time,
I cannot hide the feelings,
the warmth, the passion,
the spark that I had for you.
It was strong,
I wanted to be perfect,
I wanted to be good for you.
I can only give you my effort.
I tried, I really tried.
Am I not good enough to get your attention?
Dont I deserve some response?
A glimpse of you makes me happy,
tinggling with childish happiness in me.
But I thought you were into me too.
Where did it go?
Are we just plain spark-less or
Are we just plain ignorant towards each other?

There's so much pain in me.
I've been there,
I've been through that phase.
I dont want to be there again.
I'm scared,
I'm afraid.

I've cried,
I've pleaded myself to be strong.
But I'm not,
I'm just weak.
I'm opposite dammit.

So I'm at a crossroad,
Having questions like,
Should I?
Should I not?

I cant dream anymore.
I havent dreamt of myself in heaven,
for a long time,
far too long.

You know, I want to dream.
Can I dream?
Can you let me dream?
Can you let me dream of you?
Can you let me in your dream?

I want to smile again,
I want to smile with you,
I want to smile for you,
I want to smile for myself.

Show me the truth,
Show me kindness,
Show me beauty,
Show me love.