night dump.

currently having a night fag. friend just went back home. im left alone again. err not really. i have my pet doggie sleeping next to me now and soft music playing. sometimes i wish that he'd pop up right in front of my house for a short visit.

i was having lunch at tnb and then hung out for a bit at the canteen. sometimes i wish that im not on holidays now. i want to go back and study. i want to read and i want to attend classes. for once, let me be occupied with something meaningful. i shouldnt dwell on thoughts and idling around. but its not like i dont want to find a job. damn, why the hell am i explaining myself here?

man, i need miracle.

lunch was okay. we were constantly singing last goodbye in between silent moments. i bumped into another friend who used to study in college. very charming dude, bumped a fag with him and had a private tete-a-tete with him. i talked to him about him. the question is will i ever manage to talk to him? he seems to be shutting me out.

how could he deny me? who the heck do i turn to when i needed someone to talk? who to turn to when i wanted to say something about that? how about that day when i was crying out my eyes and my nose was so stuck that i had to use my mouth to breathe for almost half an hour? what if i was desperately in need of someone to talk to?

im petrified.

help. i think i need theraphy.

i cant stop looping jeff buckley's last goodbye and there's a scene in the video that reminds me so much of him.

oh well, what can i do?

i guess i'll just have to sleep it off.