A Guide Above.

Hello. *waves*

Yes, its raining outside. I love rain. It was raining when I was on my way back from kl too.

There has been alot in my mind lately and it is somehow getting out of control. I think Im getting out of control. Yes, I think my life is getting out of control. It's not like I dont want to do anything about it. Its more like Im still in search of myself, in search of means and in search of time needed to sort out my life.

I hope that someone or something is standing beside me now as my rock of support. I need strength because I can sense myself weakening.

Shit, it seems like I tried to start this entry off with a happy beginning but then continued as total opposite.

Lately, my life has been a drag for me. Im sorry to admit it to myself but come to think about it, yeah, Im nodding my head now. It has been shitty. Im tired. I am really tired. Im tired of trying and Im starting to stop trying. Im starting to ignore, Im starting to get mad, Im starting to hate, Im starting to feel restless.

Im exhausted.

Frankly speaking, I dont like myself for raging. Throwing things, slamming them. Hitting the wall, hitting the bed, kicking myself. All fumed up, fiery eyeballs, tight fists, face with bubbling anger. What a vein killer.. perhaps cells too.

Life's not perfect I know. But I will say a lil prayer, hoping them to be answered.

[soundbites]
Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah