Tacky Notes.

my body slowly heating up.. i could feel my head burning.. when i close my eyes, they feel as if someone just poured acid into them.. the virus is slowly but surely eating into my bones.. i feel like my limbs are weak.. when i walk, they're wobbly.. nose is starting to block.. then the fluids starting to flow and run like a marathon.. my neck and my back hurts, probably because of the position im in.. my eyes starting to look bloodshot probably because of the long hours of staring into a CRT screen.. my whole body is aching and i secretly let out a few moans of pain.

my body is weakening and i kept sweating. i felt terrible, i cant concerntrate, whole body is running up the temperature but at the same time i felt cold outside, almost shivering because of the air conditioning. oh no, my head is acting up as well. i couldnt fight back but to talk softly and slowly when being verbally attacked by colleagues. i should have just clear my things, take my bag and then leave and go straight to the docs. but i did not, despite the long hours of struggling with this sickness building up in my body. nobody cares, my boss dont care, as long as you goddamn clear all the transactions and go home.

sigh.

went to the docs straight and got some meds, slept like a pig afterwards. a day after, i still feel the same. i pratically slept thru the whole day, drank alot of water, ate only pure wholemeal bread and really recuperating at home. i even wore long sleeved sweater, long pjs, knitted knee length socks, had two comforters on to sleep. >.<

god, not long ago i was down with a flu and two weeks later, this happened again?! unbelievable.

why me?

[soundbites]
Sheryl Crow - Run Baby, Run

Hopping Into Puddles.

it's hong kong's national day today and i just realized something.

today. i celebrate my one year anniversary... of working.

many things come and gone. and most of it made me a stronger person.

i've learnt to keep my mouth shut, to learn it the hard way, to be more focused and most of all i've learnt how to spend without qualms. made friends along the way and some of them i truly treasure as they extend their sincere hands in offering friendship. gave some really good advice and kept me focused. thank you.

at first, i had to deal with difficult people. the only way to satisfy them is... well, satisfy them. give them what they want and just get it over and done with and send them out the door asap! as for the childish and immature superior(s), you just have to let time to decide their fate. one day they might be caught off guard and then the truth would be told. sometimes there's just nothing you can do about it. sadly, you can only let time decide and if you cant take it anymore, just quit. like what i did, but i got a better job that pays well.

definitely better prospects and huge on reputation and size. now, when youre in a small company people recognizes you for what you did and how you've performed but when you're in a big company, you tend to shrink in size and ability. work pressure, stress and the things you do tend to be more specialized being the excuse for that. either you can do it or you cant.

superiors tend to judge you judgementally. if that makes sense. they dont have much time in hands to evaluate your abilities other than the mistakes that made headlines. so there's pretty much the time you have to impress your bosses. superb right?

heh, seems like i've slowly evaluate more on the negative eh? but it's okay, i keep telling myself that i'm gonna be okay, i'm going to have a great leap, a leap that would escalate my entire career to the next level. things will change, my time will come, my golden opportunity is imminent.

in the mean time, i would have to keep myself sane from climbing the corporate ladder. being in the corporate world, ppl wear button shirts, slacks, heels, makeup and stuffs, sometimes i find myself just like them. but deep down, i'm still laid back as ever. i still wear tshirts, shorts, flip flops and go to gigs and hang out with my non working friends, though i envy them for bumming, i sometimes inadvertantly wishing that i could be like them. just like old times.

i hate (now working) friends who would teases me or compare me or even comments on my dressing with old times, like i am still the same old immature kiddo back in high school. can i not wear shorts and flip flops on weekends? hell i've been wearing slacks and shirts the whole time, its scary and sometimes uncomfortable. dont judge me as i wouldnt expect you to have any expectations cuz we're old time friends as i do not expect you to be looking all perfect without a scratch. so stop. you just havent seen me nicely lacquered from nails to toes, looking all feminine in heels, hair perfectly in place like i just got out of the saloon and a decent dress code that could made you feel out of place.

bah.

it's been a tough year. i've been sick numerous times this year. having to say that, yours truly is still nursing a flu, occasional headache and a heartache. it'soctober now, and november and december on the way. i'm just really hoping that all these troubles and stress would slowly be resolved and things slowly falls into places.

it's been hell of a rollercoaster ride. please dear god, let me have the strength to stay put and manage the remaining months with ease.

as an ending, happy working life everyone! here's to another great year to come!

[soundbites]
sigur rós - sæglópur