Jujube Jive.

hi. happy halloween. i celebrated mine few days ago. havent had little meetups for a while now, so it was good.

anyhoo, the connection was a bitch for the past two days. i swear i could kill the server. besides that my speakers are causing me problems. not to mention my precious white headphones. me no technie yo.

just realized. by the time i go home, i'd be 3months away from home. damn.

also, i think i've been on the phone for too long. causing me headaches, on and off. or maybe those leaves that i've been smoking?

ah, yes. finally. im going to johor soon. which reminds me i need to pack.

so now life is better. hell yeah baby.. away from typing in microsoft word, reading boring books, notes and journals. away from jungle, yeah!
*rumble*

[soundbites]
Stereolab - Lo Boob Oscillator

Duress.

And when the dawn begins to creep
Sunlight finds you in a heap
And how you wish that you could sleep
Forget the lies that you've been told
You think you're settin' free your soul
But you're really gettin' old
You've dreamt of divin' in the sea
Your outstretched arms in front of me
And how you wished that you could breathe
In the grip of ecstasy
When the shadows follow me
And the night won't set me free
You wish someone could love you less
Longing for that one caress
I see you sink under duress
And when you wanna kill it dead
You let it throttle you instead

~ Swervedriver

Cicak.

I damn ho liao. Went to toilet to shit just now. My other system is still working despite the dysfunctional of my brain. Hahahah and my dark circles are more prominent now.

Anyway the lizards which can be normally found at night are nowhere to be seen. Heh think they are afraid of me. Wooooo.

Oh yah, which reminds me that been putting this off for a while. Now I’ve added a new link. It’s the cicak. I think its going somewhere though. Came up with a good concept. Go over and check it out.

Begins With Caps.

FUCKING HELL THE INTERNET CONNECTION IS ORGASMICALLY AND GODFORBIDDENLY FAST AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT! *jumps around starts singing hallelujah*

OH MY GOD! I THINK I LOVE YOU. FOR ONCE.

hahahahah. it has gotta be the caffeine fix that caused my hyperness.

anyway other than that im still bloody stress. i think i answered perfectly for question two but the fuck with question three. i got no more space to write as its a limited three page task and i think my butt is starting to feel and getting flat cuz i've been sitting here for more than 5hours. gosh, its a plastic chair and my back and shoulder aches from it. oh and i can also officially claim the title as a zombie, donch.you.dare.take.it.away.from.me. *stomp*

damn im amusing myself. dont mind me. my eyes hurts.

and so, the effects of two cups of coffee wore off and now im alert as an eagle but the brain is a bit cuckoo. quite jammed up and disfunctional is one thing but its mixing up anything and everything. its not good i tell ya.

and fuck my printer. stupid piece of machine that consumes black ink like drinking water. mahai. i dont think i wanna redo my 3rd part. i give up liao. thats it, end of story. im so fucking tired.

but.i.just.cannot.sleep.dammit.

hmm think im gonna sleep only right after i hand in my assignment at 8am.

[soundbites]
zwan - endless summer (acoustic)

i stress.

i think im seeing stars.

while im looking at something i can sense theres something sparkling at the corner of my eye moving!

and i can idle for a good 10 minutes for not thinking about anything and do nothing at all.

amazing.

i gotta amuse myself at this time of the night.

anyway just realized. why am i stressing myself so much since i still got one more day to the submission on friday?

ah. time for bed.

or im just lazy to continue. hohoho.

stressed out.

im fucking pissed and im having a brain blockage. the both probably dont go hand in hand but heck. the fuck with it, thats how im feeling now, dammit.

im also experiencing headache. its probably because of my red hoodie placed next to bright light green makes my head dizzy or the lack of progress for my assignment.

its a three page task and why is it taking me so long to do it? fuck. and its difficult bunghole! i can never do this. i wont be able to identify opportunities and threats and what nots and i dont have a case to go with it. me likey case study where i can apply things. i dont likey to justify org environment.

im stuck. mahai.

i.just.cant.do.eet.

and im pissed. pissed at myself. pissed at the lack of time. pissed at the assignment. pissed at my thesis. pissed at you. pissed at my brain. pissed at the lecturer and just fucking pissed pissed pissed.

i wanna go toilet liao.

[soundbites]
some shit from kruder and dorfmeister

Sampaian Air Mata Terakhir.

Aku dah tak berdaya untuk mengurungkan diri dalam kepiluan.

Sehari suntuk mengingatkan diriku dalam kesedihan.

Seribu pertanyaan. Kenapa dan mengapa.

Kini kehidupan sudah berubah.

Oh kenapa bukannya untuk yang terbaik

Tetapi untuk menguji kesabaran dan pendirianmu.

Bagaikan satu cubaan bagiku.

Berharaplah untukku.

Berharaplah supaya ku meneruskan perjuangan.

Teruskan perjalanan yang dipenuhi dengan kesusahan.

Berharaplah ku tak bersinggah di persimpang dilemma lagi.

Pergilah perasaan sembilu yang menyakitkan hati.

Semoga angin membawa kupergi dari sini.

[soundbites]
Bloc Party – So Here We Are

Seven Syndrome.

Got tagged by Cindy. Funny. I used to know a girl in college whose name is Seven. Odd, isnt it?

Seven things you plan to do before you die:
1. Travel locally to all the states and then overseas
2. Organize a gig or anything that contributes to the local music industry
3. Cook real dishes
4. Make self feel like a woman
5. Get own appartment
6. Another tattoo
7. Rear a kitten/cat

I thought of a few just now but I forgot about it already.. harhar so this will do in the mean time.

Seven things I could do:
1. Binge
2. Idle
3. Cry
4. Bitch
5. Hit people
6. Shut up
7. Dance

Seven celebrity crushes:
1. Jason Lo
2. The
3. Rest
4. I
5. Dont
6. Know
7. Liao

Seven often repeated words:
1. ma de or mother!
2. ..the fuck?
3. dunno
4. serious?
5. yalah
6. nothing
7. okay

Seven physical traits I look for in the opposite sex:
1. Friendly face
2. Eyes
3. Height, taller than me.
4. Fingers
5. Hair
6. Lips
7. aiyah all the physical attributes lah

Seven tags to go:
1. Abang Zack :P
2. Lynnzter
3. Becky
4. ThisGuy
5. Mandrake
6. Andrew
7. Tiger, roarrr!

[soundbites]
Furniture - Why Is Adam King?

Bug.

Time and time again I've been hit by this bug. Not too sure what is it. This is probably the second or third time within this semester. It always makes me dizzy and feel heavy in the head. Then I'd wake up in the wee hours and found out that I've got blocked nose and I will be struggling to wipe out the warm fluid that keep coming out from my nose. Gosh, I even finished my box of premier tissue. Causing me to feel even worse, the on and off sneezing, the irritation of not being able to breathe properly, the dryness in my throat and on my lips and the warm head that is being attached to my body. Which then leads to lack of sleep. Garh.

Boohoo to this bug/virus.

I need to get better!

As I'm writing this, the fluid is still flowing. :~(

*sniff*

Do you have a light?

I need to find my spirits.

Empty.

The need to feel alive is strong but other than that I feel nothing. Funny. Like not knowing how to feel anymore. Its like I get into a world of my own. Running things on my own space and time. My very own dimension. Not wishing to be rushed, or to be disturbed when I dont want to. Staying away from complications and complexity of life and communication.

I feel empty. Maybe I just need some braincell stimulation. Some brain juice to get the brain to start working all fine again. Maybe I need to feel like the beginning. To know and to feel the adrenaline of being fed with some energy. Some motherfcuking brainjuice dammit. I need to feel fresh.

Just the other day when the irritating bitch slammed the balcony door, dare I say more than 20 times while hanging out her clothes, it was a situation where I would shout out of annoyance to tell her to shut the fuck up. Be gentle or whatever. But heck, I didnt. I was calm as ever.

I am not myself. I need help. I need theraphy.

[soundbites]
Zwan - Love Lies In Ruin (acoustic)

The Outcome.

I have obtained my result just now.

The first minute I stepped into the classroom, it was like a frenzy. Everybody was talking about it. All were thinking that it would be out right after the class finish which is like 12pm. But heck one fella came into the class and then told us that its already available for collection at the exam unit. Instantly the whole bunch went over to collect it since the lecturer was not there yet.

I didnt follow the herd though. I cant quite understand what I was feeling inside. I just didnt get the nudge that I much needed to follow the herd. After a while the lecturer came in and then the herd came in with a sheet of paper in their hands. Sigh, some got really good grades lor. Anyway the class continued and I was bored and was trying hard to absorb what he was trying to teach us. Heck I need to detach myself from the crowd, probably sit at the corner by myself so that I would feel better and that I would listen to what he was teaching. I need to pay attention in class. Sigh!

Then we had a short break, so I went over to exam unit to obtain it. My result turned out quite well actually. I got an apple and a boy for my double credit module and a boy for another paper. At least I would say it is something that I would or should be rejoicing about. Feeling all lala about it.

Apparently I didnt for no reason. Instead I feel a tad bit bitter. Like there's nothing to be so hurrah hurrah about. You know.. like just mundane, nonchalent, no biggie sort of feeling. Blah.

Maybe its like just another sheet of paper consisting my grades. Not to say that I already know that I wouldnt get good grades. But more like I know even if I got good grades it doesnt mean anything to me. Man, I think I need to be more ambitious. Perhaps I was but heck when the results got to me, I was like tidak apa like that. Gosh where is the enthusiasm in me?

The kind of mixed feelings that I didnt quite understand. I should be feeling accomplished, successful cuz it paid off, its all worth it. But heck, where the fuck is all that? I didnt feel as if I was floating or bloated with ego or enthusiasm at all. Cow's mahai lah.

Sigh. What has happened to me? I need to feel wonderfully energized and terrificly bold like how I used to feel. Dammit. :(

[soundbites]
Sheryl Crow - Begin The Beguine

Untitled Morning.

I woke up to this horrendous pseudo shouting voice of this woman on this particular radio station. Argh so irritating. So I switched over to another station and I overheard this.

Name 2 bands that David Grohl was in.
He said pass. (Nirvana and Foo Fighters lah!)

Name 2 local rock bands.
He said pass also. (Aiya. There are so many to choose from!)

..and this is the best.

Who's the best rockstar ever?
His answer is Britney Spears.

OMFG. Wahahahahah. Stewpit lah that guy.

--------------

Hello, good morning. Im up early today. Later Im going to obtain my results. :) And Im gonna make it a productive day for me!

Now Im gonna read up some journals before taking a shower to get ready for class.

Have a nice day peeps.

[soundbites]
Radiohead - There There