Fulamak.

Oh boy I am indeed surprised. :D *happy happy happy, clap clap*

Minishorts, no, nooo.. am not going to kill you lah. Im the one who gave you my password, meaning I trust you already! :) Instead I wanna thank you. HIAKS! *muaks muaks muaks* :P

I promise you that the next treat to Dome is on me! Make sure you order your favourite chocolate banana milk shake yea? *hugs*

Thank you, thank you, thank you SO much.

Heh a few days ago, I was scolded by her because of my stupidity. Hell yeah, I know nuts about ftp and she was telling me that I have to download ftp_pro. I had to download then and only after half an hour or so, perhaps its more than that, I couldnt remember, then I managed to finish downloading that software. Next she was teaching me through msn. Hah, she said Im the smartest person on earth, lolz.

But anyways it was all good. Im really glad that she took the time to help me.

So now that I have re-edited the codes, you can now see the pictures, comments link and the archives.

About my life for the past few days, has been quite something I guess. I cant say that its eventful but I guess its worth mentioning.

Well, I started college already. Am trying to get used to the all the EF subjects. (must pass all the components) And now I think college is a bit boring.. not to mention tiring. Perhaps that only applies to me cuz Im staying quite far from my college. So this is my last semester there, I have to work harder than the previous semester to get through everything and when the time comes, I will only decide where I would want to further my degree.

Tuesday, I had seafood dinner or rather supper for me. Very filling. It was Ju's bday and we had lobster, blackpepper sotong, fish, and crabs. Delicious tho. :D The night was spent besides the beach with lots of laughter talking about future, the past, and everything that came to mind that night. Then we draw funny and demented figures of the ppl that we dislike and stepped on them. Boy that was crazy.

The next day, I had to wake up for classes. Ho hum. Nothing much happened, except for a mad woman who called me up. :D Oh now I remembered, do you recall that direct seller who's an ex classmate of mine? She called me up, yet again. This time around, asking me to go to some beauty shits. I showed that I wasnt interested at all. I told her that. Nope, she didnt get my message. She said that Im bad, as in Im a bad girl cuz I smoke. WTF. The more we talked, actually the more she talked, I couldnt stand the things that she was telling me about. So I said, thats it, I started debating with her, erm soft debating. No wait, not brutally debating with her lah. But like Im speaking my mind and dammit, I WAS SPEAKING MY MIND. I said STUFFS. Theres too many things that I mentioned anyway. I cant remember anyhow. So what happened in the end? I ended up buying something off her, just to 'entertain' her and told her that Im not going to fill up any forms or join the membership cuz its not necessary for me. See? I didnt use the word, DONT want. Sigh. God save me. Im really short on cash now. The phone bill came today. Im broke. So now Im a bit worried the next time Im getting the product from her, will she be direct selling her stuff to me? I mean like persuading. GARH, fcuk me. Annoyance is building up in me. Not good.

And as for today, after class, my classmates and I went to whack some balls. Squash balls. Tired as can be and body aching. But anyways I had fun although it was my first time playing squash. Heh Im gonna whack some balls next week too. Hurrah! :D

Oh damn, tired. Bed time for me now.

This weekend is going to be busy for me but you guys have fun. Cheers!

Chooks, Thank again. I really appreciate it. :)

[soundbites]
Frou Frou - Psychobabble

Temporary Guest

Likki's probably going to kill me but just thought I'd surprise her with the troubleshooting to the template problems done. Anyway I haven't republished all the archives yet, just wanted to see how this works in full.

But which ever time the girl wakes up and sees this: Hello! I've done it! I hope this is what you wanted it to look like.

Alright, got to go.

OH yeah, BTW... I'm Minishorts.

Desire.

I need to live life
Like some people never will
So find me kindness
Find me beauty
Find me truth
When temptation brings me to my knees
And I lay here drained of strength
Show me kindness
Show me beauty
Show me truth

Another chance to lift my life
Free the sensation in my heart
To ride the wings of dreams
Into changing horizons
It brings inner peace within my mind,
As I'm lifted from where I've spilt my life
I hear an innocent voice
I hear kindness, beauty and truth

~dedicated for my angel

Over the moon.

Holla! I’m officially a zombie. Sore eyes, skin breakout, dark circles and sore throat. Putting on black eyeliner to opt for a goth look. Messenger bag, slipper, shorts and a shirt for a slothful and laid back look. I’m a slug. That’s what I am now.

*whine* I’m SO damn sleepy now.

Anyways went back to college just now to enroll and I’ll start classes tomorrow. I raced a friend up the steep Bukit Gambir with the speed of 100 to 120km/h. I pledge my life to the dead. I’m lifeless.

I stopped by Gurney and bought a pack of 20 and ta pau a large set of Quarter Pounder, boy did it taste good for my empty for 21 hours stomach. Bumped into some high school mates and they made me look like an artifact in a museum, looking at my piercings and checking what I was wearing and stuff like that. Being an artifact aside, all is fine. Good to see them in action again.

Came back, couldn’t resist my comfy bed, laid down on it, and thought of my angel again. I wanted to take a nap but then somehow I got up, took a shower and washed my hair. Blew dry while listening to some R&B. My alarm went off, time for movie. I sat in front of the tv abusing my eyes with the radiation and even now, my eyes are uncomfortable. I sat there for two hours and my bro came back from Thailand. He bought me a few packs of Virginia Slims, I lighted it up and did waterfalls. Cold. Maybe a lil too cold.

My angel kept his promise.

The entire day and night I was sentimentally emotional drowned in his memory. I’m drunk and high because of the speed that he gave me. Damn hangover. I need to slow down.

During daylight I would drown in his sweet memory that he gave me. During the night, I would drown in his warm embrace.

Yesterday the sky was you
And I still feel the same
Nothing left for me to do
And I still feel the same

I wish, I wish I could fly
I wish, I wish I could lie
I will, I will try
I will, I will..

[soundbites]
Smashing Pumpkins - Eye

Ecstatic.

To be honest, I am on a high. I'm in an emotional trancelike state of mind.

I spent the night with someone wonderful. He's my angel. The atmosphere was so mystically right and I'm glad I have someone for company. It was breathtaking. It was so beautiful that I almost cry.

Picture this, soft enchanting songs from Enigma playing in the background, white musk fragrance in the air, scented candles lighted up, chilly temperature, constant exchange of cuddly cuteness, plushies to embrace and to keep warm and most importantly, someone sentimental to share this moment with.

We kept each other entertained by talking stuff ranging from things in general, our history to intimate stuff. We cracked up constant jokes. The silent moments were broke off by our constant exchange of jokes, our laughter, his funny and cute sneezing, his runny nose because of sinus and my coughing because of dry throat.

We spent the whole night getting to know each other with open hearts. Listening to each other without discrimination. Understanding each other like we are soul mates by destiny or perhaps in our past lives.
The things we like - white musk, scented candles, tentativeness, marilyn manson, DDA, local music, music in general, and the passion for it.

Unfortunately the beautiful night had to give way to daylight. With heavy hearts we promise each other that we will spend another sentimental night together again. Soon, he said. Frankly speaking, I'm excited about the promise.

But I'm worried in some ways. Is it going to stay that way? Or is it going to take a step further? Or is it just another night? What does it mean?

He's my angel, nonetheless. I've drowned myself with his words of encouragement, tenderness, passion, warmth, care, gentleness and affection. God save me.

All in all, I had a wonderful night, a very pleasant one. And I'm still dreamy about it.

[soundbites]
DDA - Drift Away

(PS - I know this is the most romantic entry that I've written. Let's indulge in merriment and get goose bumps together! :D)

Bon Odori - Solace To The Souls

The Feast of Lanterns, better known as the 'Bon' or 'Urabon' festival is a traditional Japanese Buddhist celebration dedicated to the spirits of ancestors and deceased loved ones.

Participants take part in Wa-odori (circle dance) and will perform on a yagura (platform) and the public can take part in it while circling the yagura. You can find people dressed in traditional Japanese kimonos, hopi coats (short coat styled like a kimono top) or yukata (cotton kimonos) and sometimes carrying fans, castanets or cotton towels.

It was drizzling the whole day and very cloudy throughout the whole festival. The ground of Esplanade was very muddy because of the rain. Therefore, there are people who just take off their shoes and sandals and walk on the mud. Aiks.

There were food stalls around the spacious field. You have to purchase the coupons before you can buy any of the food there. All the money raised will be donated to the Mount Mariam Hospital in Penang.

Every year during this festival, the most awaited activity is the fireworks. I didnt manage to catch it though, I was at mamak by the time there were fireworks.

With the carnival-like atmosphere, there's also a wide selection of stalls offering games, handicrafts and food ranging from Japanese delicacies to hawker fair. All and all, it was an evening to remember for all ages.

Since I dont have a digicam of my own and even if I do have one with me, it wouldnt make any difference cuz it was dark by then and lights are all lid up to brighten up the stage and the whole venue.

But fret not, since Im the oh-so-nice Likki, I stole this picture somewhere for your viewing pleasure. Okay I just committed a cyber crime. Sue me! :D



The famous collectible item (see those big colorful balls? oh they have a smaller version of it though, filled with a lil bit of water) of the festival and some kids in the Japanese traditional kimonos and sorts.


Japanese Traditional Drummers playing the taikos.

Free.

To be able to be proud of ourselves is a very precious thing. But to be proud without support or proof read is nothing. And I want to be proud of myself.

How am I going to explain so that you can understand my passion and interests while all this time you're being ignorant? I dont know the meaning of support and independant. I always have discouragement, boundaries and no means in whatever that Im undertaking. Just feed me and let me grow is not support by itself.

My life is in a little mess right now.

It's like I have the organs and everything else. But what Im lacking is a heart - an engine to bring this body to life. Take away my heart and I'm gone. No better than a piece of junk.

I've tried putting on happy-happy songs.. but I still light up the fags that I have left. Leaving no mercy for my already damaged lungs. Caused a mad frenzy in my head and uncontrolled state of mind. Adrenaline pumping through my veins causing my heart to beat in a faster speed as my brain races it to find a solution. The finish line is no where to be seen and it didnt cross the finish line. I laid down on my bed, cuddled up with my ever-faithful blankie and bolster.. and closed my eyes to let the rest of the adrenaline flow through my whole body.

What the heck, since I cant be happy when I listen to happy-happy songs, I might as well weep as much as I want to. So this time around, I popped in cryptic songs instead. After a while, Whats wrong with me? I have Mr. Happy on my right and Mr. Sad on my left and I was standing so stiff and so still right in the middle, without moving a muscle. I didnt cry, I didnt smile. I was just, ..there.

Inside, I know I want something. I want to choose. I had to choose. But if I am sad, Mr. Happy appeared. But if I am happy, Mr. Sad appeared. What is this? Im stuck in the middle of nowhere.

One thing's for sure, I know I had to choose.

With choices, circumstances and consequences at hand.. I stretched out both my hands, take a deep breath, I closed my eyes and may the wind take me somewhere nice.

[soundbites]
Stacey Kent - Bewitched, Bothered, Bewildered

Sigh. I couldnt sleep.

*sulks*

Today's English.

The "F" word.

Speeding with imminent Death.

Whoah. NICE.

Shwooooooooossshhhhhhhhhh~

It only took me 12 minutes to get back from my friend's house. Erm driving up bukit gambir reached 100 km/h and along the roads in front of diamond villa reached 90 km/h. That was fast. Memang record breaking. :D

But yeah I gotha admit, I was afraid that I might get into accidents. I was afraid that I might get injured badly and who knows if I was stucked in the wreckage with my head all covered with blood and all that. Noooo.. I was having such a good hair day today! It wont be a pretty sight. When I got out of the car, I was a lil shaken by my actions just now. I stood still for a while, took a deep breathe and carry on walking up the stairs.

That was really something. Im so unpredictable. Ho hum, did some sort of spirit took me over? But then protect me at the same time? Well seeing that I got home safely.

Hmmmmmmm..

Death - something to be afraid of? what is death? what does it bring? and most importantly, how do YOU perceive it?

Noooooo..

Aww fcuks. The direct selling girl/ex-classmate sms-ed me and asked me if I was free. "Nope, Im having dinner now. (Not. Ok, I lied.) So whats up?"

Then she replied, "I will call you later on. Have a nice dinner."

Fcuka. Fcuka. Fcuka. *whack whack whack*

*knock head against wall*

I will tell you what happens later on.

Aiyo, headache now.

God bless me..

Im gonna have a piece of After Eight and chill out. *fans herself*

Reflection.

A very talented blogger, Grace nicely put them into words.

Read this and get reflected.

Identity.

I am quite disturbed.

Disturbed about the news that I heard yesterday. Not going to reveal here. Why? Dunno.
*shrug* Maybe Ive gone bane and bitter about it.

As I was lying there, thinking of what to write.
I find the hot weather outside disturbing. I also find a room that is too cool disturbing. Its cold, not cool then I suppose. I cant find the right temperature for myself, dammit.

My heart was beating very fast after the fag that I had before feeling too heavy and laid down on my bed. It got me worried for a minute there.

Im falling back. I cant find myself. Why?

Do I have identity crisis?

I really want to feel fine. Honest.

Today is a day that I dont quite feel good with myself.

I think I should play El Sol to make myself feel better.

Dum dee dum. *hums*

I feel alright when I keep myself from feeling bad and not to be crying over spilt milk. But deep down, the scoop is, I want to feel relieved.

How was the nature calls yesterday? Was I tentative towards that?

I heard my body crying in pain but physically Im not. I am fine.

But.. somehow it's thoughts provoking for me. I wouldnt be able to come up with this entry if Im not fine.

Yeah, Im not making sense. But I can still smile.

Have a nice day on my behalf. :)

I got my feet on the ground and I don't go to sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you're not all what you seem
This mind, this body, and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don't forget what I told you, don't come around, I got my own hell to raise

~Sleep to Dream

Smth that I just noticed. I posted the previous entry 12 hours ago.

Shit. Shitty. Shit.

I just got back an hour ago.

The full moon is shining brightly and I could hear some slight thunderings. Im sitting here listening to the tapping sound of the keys on the keyboard.

I am quite tentative today.

Im going to have a good night sleep. Without nightmares hopefully and hopefully (again) that my left shoulder blade and right hips will be alright when I wake up.

.. and my feeble lil heart too.

No wait, Im gonna go answer call of nature first.

Hmm. Will I be tentative when I do that?

I'll tell you in the morning.

Yalah. Im bored. Im pained.

I just heard the cocks crowing.

Relax.

Actually Im in quite a nasty mood right now. I dont get the reason why people ignore me when I msged them. For instance, a friend went overseas, promised to keep in touch, to call before going off and to call upon arrival. Now after almost a year, what I got was an email in reply to my email and nothing more than that. There has been lots and lots of times that I msged this friend thru ICQ but he didnt reply me at all. What the fcuk went wrong? I cant help but to think that way.

I dislike the whole idea of me msging someone and then he/she didnt reply. For once or twice and several times, its alright but when it happens too often and Im forced to think that he/she is avoiding and ignoring me on purpose. I get frustrated, irritated, annoyed and the list of adjectives will go on. But really, what is this? Ignorance is bliss? Fcuk me. Empty promises.

Another thing is that, when you did nothing wrong at all and was about to start a decent conversation, the other side suddenly threw a pint of beer on you. Being a lil too sensitive maybe? It tastes bitter and Im soaking wet. It's not kinky at all, mind you. It's an act of something not kinky. Its something else, you can feel it. Admittedly, I did that too but it was towards someone that I dont know. I mean the feelings and emotions of someone that I know and perhaps, cared of matters to me. Hence, thats why Im not doing that to them.

Fine. I can catch your ball of anger quite off guardly and sure enough I can throw my ball of anger at you when my innocence took over me. But no, I cant do that.

Think about this, you msged someone at 9pm and when they do reply you, the clock says 10pm. Oh when they do, they tells you that they're going off. Im sure you get the idea and whatever msg that is meant to be sent.

Oh oh and this one. They are still online, alive and kicking after the byebye and goodnight msg.

Or the part when they send you that reply msg and pretend that nothing went wrong.

Ho hum..

Relax.

Im trying really hard not to mess around with my anger but today it got tickled and nearly sneezed. I havent sneezed yet. And when I do, you'll see some lime yellowish green phlegm with a few visible tiny bubbles. Perhaps a red nose as well. Aww am I not cute? Cmon pinch me. Let me not feel sneezy please?


[soundbites]
Marilyn Manson - Third Nostril

Review.

Majority Chinese. Started around 8:40pm and ended around 11 smth. Can’t remember. Here. The sequence of bands who played and my lil review abt the gig.

WHITELIGHT
This is a 4 piece band, consists of Alvin, Chris, Darshen and Feeren. Since Chris is a Caucasian, when he sang the song ‘Batu’, it was a memorable one and I’m sure everyone there is going to remember them for that. Nonetheless, their music doesn’t have lyrics, except for that ‘Batu’ song. Their influences are Damn Dirty Apes, Smashing Pumpkins, Mogwai, My Vitriol and Sonic Youth. Frankly, I think they are the best among all the others. Can I say they are the best among all? They are the variety of all the other hard and heavy bands performing that day. They are post rock or progressive rock if I may say the least. Other than that, I think that their music itself needs more patterns and prototypes to their current style of music. I’m not saying that they need to change their style of music, but patterns or textures. However, I really enjoyed their set. Neat. *applause*

DISSECTOMY
4 piece band as well. Three of the members are from the band Gaugepit. Heavy. Hard. Dark. Brutal. Death metal. During this time, huge and crazy moshpit going on there. Very moving. Heh, it sure did move the aunties, kiddos out of the scene. Yes, very surprising, aunties and kiddos were there too. Very fast beats, lots of double pedals action going on there. Yelling. Screaming. Wtf is he singing about? You can say that they are good in death metal music. :)

UNTITLED
4 piece band, each of them has their own kind of masks. Slipknot wannabes? They are dressed in black raincoat with white cross sprayed on their back. Good drummer though but crowds started to walk off when the vocalist started singing. The vocals lack of energy in voice and it sounded funny. Trust me, I was trying hard not to laugh since one of the chick I was with at that time happens to be the gf of one of the band members. Struggled through the set. For all that I remember, they only played one song but after I checked with my friend, he said two songs. *scratches head* I guess the smoke and humidity were suffocating me which resulted brain malfunctioning.

E.M.P
Stands for Electro Magnetic Pulse, a 5 piece band formed 3 years ago while they were in high school. They claimed that they are nu-metal but I would add that they sounded like rap-metal as well. By this time, the moshpit came back to life. Everyone was moshing and head banging. The vocalist, Freddie changed his ways of singing and now they sounds better than the last time I heard them performing.

O.D.I
It stands for Overdose Infinity, a 6 piece band with a sampler at hand. From the previous gig, they don’t have the sampler and now they have a different guitarist as well. Well, Kelvyn, the noisiest guitarist in penang(?) is in this band. Performing and doing his own solo at the same time. However, since they have 4 other people on the instruments, they sort of covered his part. The vocalist was screaming his lungs out. Frankly speaking, I don’t quite like. They sounded the same like last time. They plays post industrial music with stable and punchy rhythm with explosive noise.

Zero Gravity
Quite familiar for regular gig goers in penang. They are a 6 piece band, with two Chinese vocals up front. One of them rapping and the other one singing/screaming and vice versa thru their set. They were singing Sweet Dreams with a fusion of dance and hardcore element. They would like to claim their music as Cyber Hardcore. Their vocals are far more different than other bands. This band has got a promising future though.

I had quite a crazy day yesterday but eventful at the same time. Everything was so spontaneous and vague.

I remembered a primary school friend suddenly called me up on my house phone and talked for more than half an hour. And as well Damien suddenly called me up on my cellphone asking directions to MPH.

I remembered talking to someone who was wearing a Manson shirt and asking him where he got it and then introduced himself to me. Hmm.

I remembered talking to Eugene and I actually miss that guy and it’s nice to see him after a while. Harhar.

I remembered talking to Randal and then I had to fetch him to Gurney to claim his pressie. Hmm.

I remembered being all fickle minded to go or not to go clubbing yesterday. I ended up at mamak and then driving up the curvy road of Batu Feringghi, honking, speeding and emergency breaking along the way up to the apartment.

I remembered talking about spirits, ghosts and supernatural stuffs and being paranoid about it when it was raining very heavily outside and the wind was making really eerie sounds.

I remembered miss calling someone for more than 20 times in the wee hours. Well, it's my friend actually.

I remembered driving back from the curvy and mysterious road to my house when it was raining and wind blowing heavily while the cocks were crowing.

I remembered I slept at 6 and woke up around 12 and couldn't remember the word tired.

I remembered that I had fun.

Lots of fun. :)

[soundbites]
Marilyn Manson – Doll-Dagga Buzz Buzz Ziggety-Zag

Just how amazing it can be, with just a phonecall with no intentions or purpose in mind, Jane and I ended up talking less than 5 minutes with me telling her to come over and after 45 minutes, she's right in front of my house. That girl just need a lil push.

Just how pathetic it can be, for someone with hair that's around bra line and an obese body ended up drying her hair and picking a nice outfit takes almost an hour. It doesnt help either with the keys went missing. Up and down the stairs I went. I just need a lil push in exercising.

Just how dope it can be, for Jane and I both indecisive which place to have dinner, ended up standing at a junction then walking towards Sushi King and turned back towards Dome. Yes and Dome was the place we had our lovely lovely dinner. I had my *fav* mushroom and chicken pie and lemonade berry. Yummy. Very yummy.

It was very dope of me to end up buying a Zig-Zag rolling machine instead of the paper to roll the cherry tabacco. *slaps forehead*

I guess that treat to Dome was a repay, correction, treat for myself for having maggie mee as lunch today. Hah I'm that pathetic. Blame Dome, I love them. :D

And the both of us ended up buying the same handbag. Hiaks, talk about me being a grown up. Like what?! You'd probably see me with a messenger bag or I'd just throw everything in the pockets of a cargo shorts rather than seeing me with handbag. Lolz. I did buy that thing tho.

There's a gig tomorrow, oh no wait, Today.

SOUNDMAKER GIG 5 : HARD & HEAVY
Tickets: rm10
Venue: Actors Studio Greenhall
Time: 8pm
Bands: E.M.P, Whitelight, Untitled, Dissectomy, Zero Gravity, O.D.I

** Support Local Music Industry! **

I just got up an hour ago and Im hungry now. I dont know what to eat.

The night is beautiful and peaceful. Especially if you're in an office around Gurney Drive. Although I am not that lucky but the view from my house is a sight to behold too. The night iself is a pretty thing. I was at Amandari in Gurney Plaza the other day to have dinner. And I can see the night view was really attractive. I just wanna share it with you, whoever that is reading this.

Today was a busy day. I had McD alone and managed to drive around the island for a lil. Very nice and relaxing. I was at Kean's house to see him do a tattoo for his classmate. Want to see his work of art? Here are some of his own tattoos which he did for himself.





He's a freelance tattoo artiste. He has done quite a few for his mates. If you need more infos, you can just leave a msg here and I will get back to you. This guy is good though. I've seen the tattoos that he did and also, I witnessed the whole process of it just now. Im sure you will find the whole process of drawing a design, outline the design properly, needle pricking and viola~ TATTOO very interesting.

Dude, if you're reading this. You owe me err nasi kandar or smth. :D

This is amazing. I am blogging at 4am in the morning. Praise me. record breaking.

Im getting tired of one whole day of outing already. Had some cards sessions, supper, subaidah, sup daging. whoah.

Erm I think my brain died on me. Fag now. More damage. See you.

My Precioussss...

Good morning.

Good afternoon.

Good evening.

Good night.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Bloggie.

What do you think about my blog? From the point when you first popped by until now. You're welcomed to leave me a comment or smth ok?

Cheers.

Trust.
walk me through the other side
because today I’m so satisfied
wish I’ve had no time left
so I won’t have to think
make less mistakes
lessen my suffering

take me to the other side
where the babies never cry
and a mother knows her child
is going to be alright
is it very far from here
will I ever make it through
you don’t ever have to fear
I’ll always be with you

I can see you under the fence
no border too low
I cant reach out my hand
wish you’d come over
so I won’t be alone
wait any longer
I’d be on my own

take me to the milkyway
where the angels come and play
take me to the other side
take my hand and show the way

is it far from here
will I make it through
you don’t have to fear
I’ll be with you

Medium blonde gold copper is the color for my highlighted hair. Yes! I’ve highlighted my hair. Well it’s not that obvious since I’ve got really black hair. I’ve got no idea why I wanted to do that and I did. Ho hum. I guess I need more colors in my life. Heh.

Hurrah I got myself a mouse pad with a penguin flying and the sheep on clouds. :D

I’ve been having chocolates these few days. Perhaps it’s the really bad pms that I was having. I had Nutella, chocolate ice cream, chocolate fun-sticks, chocolate, white chocolate, chocolate wafers, hot chocolate and milo. Err does that consider as chocolate anyway? I was at coffee bean just now and I had pure chocolate ice blended. How’s that for fat and sweet? Am such a chocoholic. :D

Heh it’s nice to hear my family is downstairs in the tv room laughing really hard, for a change.

I’m so into drama series and comedies these days, since I’m around the house and most probably you could find me sitting in front of the tv around 6 in the evening. Heh, Scrubs will be on later tonight and Patch Adams tomorrow night.

I miss being woken up by someone I love and then cuddle up or you know, something like that. Haha. Bear with me please?

A few days ago, I took out that file box full of love letters, photos, drawings and Mp3s which were given to me by my ex. He drew a picture of me though, very sweet and I look cheerful and spirited in that drawing. I wonder where did that cheerful and spirited me disappear to. Memories flashed back and I remember how the both of us communicate. Physically and mentally. I think I miss him.

The promise that he gave me and the things he kept saying to me. I wonder where the promise and the pledge disappeared to. How much I’ve trusted him on that promise and how much I’ve believed him on that and how long I’ve been waiting for the promise to be kept.

And what happen to the promise now after the break up? Heh frankly, I’m blur and distorted. I don’t know anymore.

It’s just a random question popped into my head while reminiscing.

[soundbite]
Busta Rhymes feat. Janet Jackson – What’s It Gonna Be (remix)

Mad entry.

my stomach is growling.

someone asked me where would i want to eat if i had a fcuking car.

i'd say DOME.

he's not helping.

i'm hyper now.

i want to go gurney now.

i want to roll my cherry tabacco.

had to wait for 45 minutes in the post office just now.

and wasted my 150 on my phonebills alone.

fuck me.

i'm broke.

no.

no more dome.

byebye dome.

be gone growling stomach.

sugar rush coming in.

believe me when i say songs from manson made me cry.

someone please get mad with me.


BOO!!!!!!!!!!



Edited : i cooked myself maggie mee, duck flavoured. im bored. haha.

There is a chill as I think of the way being deprived of normal feelings has the paradoxical effect of turning me into an emotional wreck.

How many times have I done this to myself
How long will it take before I see
When will this hole in my heart be mended
Who now is left alone but me

Ooh, Solitude,
Forever me and forever you
Ooh, Solitude,
Only you, only true

Everyone leave me stranded
Forgotten, abandoned, left behind
I can't stay here another night

Your secret in my heart
Who could it be

Ooh, Can't you see
All along it was me
How can you be so blind
As to see right through me

But I am fine now, really. I'm going for a cuppa. :)

Happy Birthday to Jasdev!!

Terror-lah.

That ex high school classmate of mine just gave me a call!
Phew~ Thank god I was feeding my dog just now so I didnt pick up the phone. So she sms-ed me and while I was replying her sms, she called again! *faints*

No, I didnt pick up. I told her that I was cooking for my family and I was going to have dinner with them and ask her to start without me and apologies.

*wipes off sweat on forehead*
sial nightmare :D

Anyways I *might* be going over to a friend's house to see him tattoo himself. *grins*

Yippie~ *clap clap*

Hmm anybody up for chor dee? :P

Go me!

I’ve finally finished reading the book that I’ve been reading. And the hot chocolate that I made for myself tasted SO good. :P Not to mention the lil marshmellows tasted good as well. *yum* I checked the title, it’s called The Girls’ Guide To Hunting And Fishing. It’s beautiful, funny, sad and true all at the same time. I love it. :)

Direct selling.

Actually, I was avoiding a high school friend because she was dealing with direct selling. She has been pestering or politely put, persuading me to buy her products. We rarely talk about life and we rarely catch up with things about the happenings in our lives. We don’t reminisce about memories anymore.

And today I got another high school friend called me up just 45 minutes ago talking about direct selling with me. She is quite close to me too. We used to be in the same class for two years. How much memories that we have that don’t deserve to be mentioned when we have the chance of communicating with each other?

So basically I was pulling a lame and not so interested voice when she was talking to me about direct selling. I don’t mean to be rude so you can caught me saying uh-huh, yeah, oh, yalor, hmm, yes and stuff like that during the phone conversation. I’m sorry to say that I’m not even interested in the slightest bit. No one can change that. Personally I don’t like the idea of direct selling so in no way at all I’m going to change my mind and be involved in that. I just think that direct selling actually spoils the relationship between friends or any kind of relationships. Well, unless one night stands. But my point is, it does not click with the word relationship.

Nonetheless, I tried to debate with her, not the intense debate but more like, she made her point and I made my point kind of thing. Sometimes things that you desire are just materials, you know tangible stuff. She was telling me that most people cant be confident in saying what are the things that they want in life. Her supervisor told her that before getting involved in direct selling, he would only dare to make BMW as his dream car but now he has got a BMW, Benz and other two cars. But in turn, I told her that no matter how rich or poor one person is, he or she can be confident in saying that Happiness is the thing that they want.

It’s simple. Why do you want to set hurdles? Of course, it is some sort of dream if they want material stuff. Different people have different thinking, that what I told her for not being too harsh on her since it’s just her second week working in a direct selling company.

I dunno, but one thing for sure, I’m not going to show up at the place where she told me that there will be a talk on aromatherapy. Personally she got off quite a good start on choosing the right person for the aromatherapy thingy but I guess she choose the wrong person for the whole idea of direct selling. Whereas I think I choose the wrong person for cherishing memories with and she choose the wrong person for wasting her phone bills on persuading.

For being a business student, I know that direct selling is just part of the 4Ps that we study. And honestly these people help in being a part of the marketing strategy. It's just a marketing thing I guess. :)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was at the immigration practically half the day and it didn’t help either when I didn’t get enough sleep in the morning. The instant photos turned out to be a wreck. I looked like I have a piggie’s nose and I was as pale as a corpse. And at the end of the day, I cant get it renewed. I have to do my new identification card before renewing my passport.

I guess I’m going to procrastinate again.

Good night. :)

[soundbites]
Chet Atkins & George Benson – Dream

Ive been bugging my friends who I think can gimme some good opinions and advice on my choice of digicam. Well I cant say that Im definitely getting it but then again Ive been thinking and the whole possibility of purchasing one is solely dependant on my mom. Now perhaps you have any comments or reminders to give me?

Hmm I still have another 15 minutes to kill before Scrubs will be on tv, I guess Im going to continue to read my book. Title? I cant remember, usually I have them wrapped with an advert tear out from a magazine.

But now, just for the heck of posting something up, here's a lil treat for you for dropping by. :)

This is my good friend's cat name.. well, Kitty.

Random scribbling. Ignore.

can ya pls give this poor soul a lil hug? cuz she really needed one right now. it'll make her feel a lot better or at least a lil better. please?

can ya pls lend a shoulder for this crying soul to lie on? she needed someone to lean on for a lil while for once to soothe her. please?

can ya pls make the squealling noise stop? she needed someone to stand up for her now cuz she cant seem to do it for herself. please?

can ya pls take this weakling soul away from this place? she needed a new environment to make her feel normal, accepted and calm. please?

all in all, can ya pls shower this feeble soul some love? she needed to feel loved and appreciated. please?