This is suppose to be posted up on 27/04/03 on 2pm.

For the past three nights or so, I was trying to keep up with my assignments and staying awake basically. I can tell you that I’ve not been having enough sleep. The morning started with me switching on the pc and sat in front of it for hours and the day ended with me rubbing my eyes, neck and back hurts like hell and yawning away before switching off the pc and go to bed. It has gotten to a point whenever I wake up, I’ll just automatically switch on the pc. Weird eh?

Well I’ve finished doing my assignment, still another one to go though. Hopefully I’ll manage to finish in time. I’ve been blog reading and I can see that most of the bloggers out there are trying to finish up assignments or rather, due dates to attend to as well. So, best of luck ok? :)

I am a day’s late. Yesterday was Jason Lo’s birthday and guess what, 6 hours ago I sms-ed him wished him and all but it has not been successfully delivered yet. I really wonder if the number is for real. I know it’s really late for me to do my bit seeing that I am crazy about him, but what to do, its better to be late than never!

Good news for me, I’ve managed to download latest manson songs and of course, some other stuff as well. Hmmm, I think a total of 22 songs.. within three days! Oh well, you can’t really compare my record with yours because I am using a damn dial up 56k connection. I am already contented.

Right now, the neck and back pain is starting to attend to their duty calls. Garh. How badly I need a massage now, you tell me.

Rightttttt, so the Easter break has ended. Where the heck is my plan for going to taiping or tambum? Where am I when the Addidas event was going on? Where was I when Joyce came back from kl? Where was I when my classmate came back from Auz? Where was I on Friday night? Where was I on Saturday night? Where the heck was I on Sunday?

Well, everything went down the drain for nothing. I was doing my assignments, downloading songs, singing to get my anger and stress out of my system and of course punishing myself for nothing.

I don’t think I did tell you about my lil distress that I was having an hour plus ago. Actually, it started ever since Friday but then it’s two different things anyway. Well, all I can say is that, I’m a pissed at something that is out of my control. Let’s not get into that, it is kind embarrassing to even start talking about it.

And now on a lighter note, I wonder how people think about me when they look at my pictures. Weird thing is, I just found out that my friend said that I am casual punk. Am I casual punk? I know that people see me as a piercing freak but I can tell you that my piercing days are pretty much over. Noticed I said pretty much? Yeah, I still have urges here and there. On the other hand, I do have people wanting to pinch me and all. Heh.

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Well I’m still worn out because of tiredness and lack of sleep. Those damn assignments really know how to stress you out.

training for tomorrow
tomorrow's tradition
tradition of excellence
excellence par existence
existence is the first sense
sense of being
being with you
you are me
me is true.

A few minutes ago, I just got this real weird phone call from someone. If you ask me, I’d say it’s a prank. He claimed that he knows me through #penang around like two months ago. First off, I’ve stopped ircing in ages except for special requested occasion, I can be seen at #blogblog.

I got back my assignment one for marketing management and I got 81 out of 100. I’m aiming for higher marks actually, the lecturer deducted one mark because I put 0x instead of 0.1x in the BCG model. Hurhur.

I’m feeling real low down although I managed to get myself free stuff crust Hawaiian pizza. It’s chilly here and I was wearing my WC red hootie while driving back from friend’s house. It’s nice to listen to brian mcknight after so long with a lil twist of nostalgia. It’s all good. Later I went to 7-11 to get a pack of fags and do some damage to my cancer-trait-lungs. Sometimes fagging can brings me down from feeling normal and all good. Well, I needed something to warm my body up anyway.

Talking about damage, I have the word ‘freak’ carved on my arms and also a few slanting cuts which looks like the erm, you know the side of a shark? Oh well, if you get me, let me know but if you don’t, nevermind. I was trying out the sharpness and how does it feel for the new blade that I got the other day. No one's taking away my blade this time, I've got 4 of them.

Just the other day, I think it was Sunday night, K started calling me and talked to me every night ever since. Well, except for now, I mean today. He wanted to get back together but then I’m like thinking twice about it. I know I have to keep a distance and all but the thing is, the heart and mind got weak and disappointed me.

so small left behind in love and time
the last drop so perilously close
to falling
strung out.

Oh well, my body is complaining about me still sitting in front of the pc although I’ve finished my assignments. My eyes is starting to show their anger at me, I can see them in red with a white background. Behold the exhaustion.

[soundbites]
Evanescense – My Last Breath

I've got friends asking me to go clubbing tonight, I said yes at first, but then now, I declined them.
I have no idea why. I mean I REALLY want to go, seeing that the last time was like, what, ages ago.
aiyo.

oh well, I guess I might as well make good use of the time. heheh, download manson songs! :D
and then back to work.
you people, have a great weekend! :)

If it makes you happy

Here, just to make you people happy so that you can look at my ugly pictures.

I want to thank Huai Bin for hosting these pics and sorry buddy, i'm a cookie, i know nuts about ftp. Sorry for all the trouble tho. Thanks again for all the help dude. :)



nahhh, itu dia! my pics. :P





me, like real upclose. dont ask what i was doing.






here's another one. heh. i'm really proud of my twin cartilage piercing. harhar.





me pura pura playing guitar.





and my right side. that's my 2ga stretching. the rest of the lobe piercings are not visible cuz im not wearing any earrings.





and erm, me looking blur and on a good hair day. :D
oh hey! check out my Alexander McQueen spectacles. *kembang*


eh, Im just taking a break from my assignments. gotha go back now. tata! :)

oh heck, my sister suddenly came back from kl without any notice!!

and today I woke up thinking that only 2 days' left before I have to hand in the two assignments.. seeing that I have not started anything yet. yeah, I kid you not. I panicked and I'm so worried about it now. garh! and I'm like so ummotivated. !#@$^@@!!!!%^%

[soundbites]
Marilyn Manson - Burn

dammit, my prepaid account is konked out. I need to reload it soon.

Correction : my tmnet prepaid account. yeah, I'm using prepaid internet access. I just found out that I've run out of credit, that's why gotha reload it soon. :)

Good morning.

For the past few days, I’ve been kind of busy. On Tuesday, it was Miranda’s birthday so I gave her a surprise visit and took her out for lunch. It was fun to hang out at her house. She’s like this super canggih music oriented girl. She has got this really cool sister who she is proud of. I managed to get some pictures with her using her digicam and uploaded it to her laptop and she was telling me stories about her life and she'd use streamyx to go online and sometimes chat with the bf. ;) Go figure lah, digicam, laptop, streamyx and everything little things that are nice. I had a good time at her place but then when I was on my way up to her house and back, I almost got into two accidents. Argh! those horrid malay kids(no offence to those malays) riding their modified ex5 with loud exhaust pipe and anything there is to complain about the attitude of Malaysian drivers. I get so easily irritated by that and my mother told me that she wont let me take the car and drive alone. Double ARGH!

Talking about accidents, three friends of mine actually wanted to give me a surprise visit on Tuesday night and to go to a mamak place but then they were involved in an accident. So here’s a quote from a friend, never raise your voice when you’re involve in an accidents. It helps. Make sure you call your older siblings or parent to come and settle it for you.

Yesterday’s bbq was clean fun. I went there kind of early, say around 5 smth and it was frigging hot. The whole bbq started off kind of slow with only the presence of three of us – a pair of couple and me. Then the next batch of people started to come in and join the fun of bbq 101. I can’t complain though, it was clean fun I’d say. I mean it’s supposed to be fun, dammit.

My mind started to drift away from that whole idea and actually deep down inside, I was feeling a lil low although I’ll have to say that I did try to laugh at jokes and have fun. Coming to the end of the night, a bunch of good friends sitting down talking the night away with stories and jokes. It was great, I mean at that time, we were so worry-free and free of any form of stress. But then I couldn’t help myself but to secretly feel a little down inside.

This feeble mind just refuses to blend into the cozy and pleasant environment. It started to think that I’m an outcast among that bunch of friends when they started talking about going to universities overseas and also their studies now. Fact is, I am the only odd one out. They are all studying in the same course but then I’ll not get into that.

We got home kind of early, no wait, I got home kind of early. It was around half past 11. They are probably off to a treat at a nearby mamak or smth. I wanted to go along to feel less outcasted but then on a second thought, I wouldn’t want to ruin their night by my miseries. At that time, the radio just so happened to play The Scientist from Coldplay. Darn it. So I took a hot shower and settled down in front of the computer instead and go online.

I was happy then, doing the usual stuff when I’m online, chatting with friends, blog reading, surfed around and checked my inbox. There just have to have a veto to this whole thing. Naggings from you-know-who always didn’t help when I’m at that pathetic state of mind. I was very much irritated.

Then off to bed I went but the problem is I couldn’t sleep. Lately, I’ve been having nightmares and there are just too many nightmares for me to tell. I’d say they’re kind of scary. Too many things were running through my head at that time. That including my outcasted episode, family issues and personal issues. K started to talk to me on Monday night but that was that but still that’s something to ponder about. When I close my eyes, I can feel cold tears running down my cheeks, at first it was for nothing. The more I think about it, the more reasons came up. I’ve always envied those with a lovely family who supports them and someone to turn to when they are down. They’re so close yet they are supportive of each other emotionally. I’ve never had that before.

I’ve always wanted someone in the family to be close to me and understand me but everyone seems to be so distant and remote. I want a cool parents and I miss my dad greatly. That, I guess was the main thing. For a while I was comfortable draining the tears in my eyes, I felt a certain release and freedom. But then daddy would have told me, “gong kia, don’t cry.. things will get better tomorrow, just go to sleep, don’t think too much” and then put my blanket over me. Those words may be self formed but then I’m sure that my dad will console me. It’s simple and yet so wise. Sometimes I really wanted my mom to understand me as well and sometimes I blame her for not understanding at all. Sometimes I just let it be and friends will be the one that I look for comfort and even so, it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be.

I’m mad at myself for being easily irritated. I’m mad at myself for blaming my mom for all that. I’m mad at myself for being useless. I’m mad at the way things are.

The weather today is nice though, good for sleep in. Here's a song for you to digest.

U2 – Kite
Something
Is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it means

I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did

And hardness
It sets in
You need some protection
The thinner the skin

I want you to know
That you don't need me anymore
I want you to know
You don't need anyone
Or anything at all

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Which way the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
Don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

It's summer, I can taste the salty sea
There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze
I wonder what's gonna happen to you
You wonder what has happened to me

I'm a man
I'm not a child
A man who sees
The shadow behind your eyes

Who's to say where the wind will take you
Who's to say what it is will break you
I don't know
Where the wind will blow

Who's to know when the time has come around
I don't want to see you cry
I know that this is not goodbye

Did I waste it
Not so much I couldn't taste it
Life should be fragrant
Rooftop to the basement

The last of the rock stars
When hip hop drove the big cars
In the time when new media
Was the big idea
That was the big idea

Thank you and more thank yous.

All right I think to myself, I will live in this dark room with no windows for as long as it takes to get better. I will accept that the only scenery in this little hovel is a pipe across the ceiling and an antiquated iron and pressing board with a pile of trousers next to it, waiting for the laundress. I accept this. I accept that this is my fate. I have to come here to see the absolute bottom, and sure enough, I will.

I sleep fitfully, I can’t get out of bed in the morning or even the afternoon, and I think, this is scary. I’ve got to go home. Even if such a place doesn’t really exist..


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Sorry that I was away from this blog for a few days.

At first, I wanted to move to another url but then things didn’t work out. I have my own issues that I do not wish to reveal here, just so not to ‘tersingung’ someone’s feelings. And as for those, who know the reasons, I’m really glad that you were there to help me and to give me words of encouragement instead of cold insults or cold shoulders for that matter. Thank you for your time and patience in dealing with me and my nonsense. You all are someone that I can really call friends. :)

Initially I wanted to settle my blog at the new site before telling everybody about my new url. It’s not that I want to avoid anyone of you readers out there. Hmmm I think you still owe me your email address Garrard! :)

Well, I guess that’s enough for explanations. Can I blog now?

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Thank you. :)

Do you remember the pictures of those Thai men who look like women? And the picture of a friend of mine with his name tattooed on his lower part of his belly button? My host for the free web hosting claims that those are porno pictures and hence, they banned me. Now they are offering me a way to save my account which is to pay $6 bucks per year or something, can’t remember. I mean THOSE are porno pics? I doubt that. Anyway if anyone of you who dropped by my archive and saw that there is no picture to show, that’s probably the problem. Now I am looking for someone kind out there who is willing to host some pictures of mine.

On the other hand, I have two assignments to hand in this coming Monday and Tuesday. Hahah and my mktg mgt book is now 5 days overdue.

However, I need to pop by the departmental store tomorrow to get some dry food and marshmallow for the bbq thingy this Wednesday. I am so happy when there is a bbq thingy with my friends. Not to mention that it will be held beside the beach. Beach, friends, bbq. Double joy.. err, triple joy? :)

As what Hsin always says, think happy happy thoughts. :D

I’m feeling contented now, I had kassim mustapha nasi kandar just now and everything is smooth sailing today.

Again, my special thanks to people like, Chooki, Cindy, Huai Bin, Gerrard, Marvin, Nigel, Miranda, Caleb, Ken, Shen Hoei and veritas. May it be a grand reason, or a diminutive reason, or simply just because of your presence, I want to thank you all.

Hmmm did I miss out on anyone?

Oh yeah, dear fellow bloggers and readers and real life friends. Thanks for being a part of this blog.

Some catastrophic situations invite clarity, explode in split moments: You smash your hand through a windowpane and then there is blood and shattered glass stained with red all over the place; you fall out a window and break some bones and scrape some skin. Stitches and casts and bandages and antiseptic solve and salve the wounds. But depression is not a sudden disaster. It is more like cancer: At first its tumorous mass is not even noticeable to the careful eye, and then one day - wham! - there is a huge, deadly seven-pound lump lodged in your brain or your stomach or your shoulder blade, and this thing that your own body has produced is actually trying to kill you.

Depression is a lot like that: Slowly, over the years, the data will accumulate in your heart and mind, a computer program for total negativity will build into your system, making life feel more and more unbearable. But you won't even notice it coming on, thinking that it is somehow normal, something about getting older, about turning eight or turning twelve or turning fifteen, and then one day you realize that your entire life is just awful, not worth living, a horror and a black blot on the white terrain of human existence. One morning you wake up afraid that you are going to live.

I dont feel good. I'm blogging more than I am suppose to. I still dont feel good.

What is wrong with me? Depression has often been described as anger turned inward.

I was actually on to something.
As if that could make it hurt any less.

I am going to sleep. This world is hopeless.

I had a slice of overnight reheated tuna pizza, a slice of bread and a glass of orange juice for today. I am waiting to be fed. I dont want that. I want independence. I need the means to. I am hungry.

I can hear my own stomach yelling and demanding for food, the drumming way.

I want a car of my own. :(

I got an email today.

Subject: Thanks for linking to us!
Hi there,
Thanks so much for putting a link to us on your website.
Peace!
The Funkshoppe Posse

oh well, you are welcome. :)

Do check them out, I especially like the color combination of their website. They are very aggressive in advertising I think and also they are very committed in delivering good music to the local scene.

I wonder what happened to orange. I thought they used to spin there.. but not now, not anymore. Why? Weird.

btw, I just found out that there is one particular vet who knows how to treat an Iguana. *grins*

I called the 1300 number of maxis to obtain my puk code 20 minutes ago. I pandai pandai switched off my phone yesterday night after my self-formed assumptions about how pathetic life is and how heartless the people around you can get. Once I got up, hell, I don’t even remember what I did, all I know is that I was pressing the buttons on the keypad and then *blink blink* “SIM card blocked”. SIAL...
I used my house phone to call and the guy, I think his name is Chris, he picked up the phone after 15 seconds and I think he was kind of shocked to hear my morning voice.

I came home around 12 smth and the caffeine kicked in, I couldn’t sleep so I was online yesterday for an hour. My menopause-ing mom kept on nagging or else it would have been more than an hour. But still it didn’t change the fact that, the caffeine was still actively running in my system, I only slept at about 3.15am. Well, probably the effects of alcohol were doing the trick too, I was hyped up when talking to friends online, asks Marvin, and we even talked about hello kitty masks.
*shakes head*

Yesterday was kind of fun, all of us five girls got a lil cheeky with the manager in sega. We asked him to do a striptease and only then we will order another jug of beer. We think that he is hot, haha. The people there are friendly.

Edited: No, people. He did not do a strip tease for us. Damn! I wish man, I REALLY wish!! He said mebbe 3am but then I was on my bed then.. hurhur. No show.

Extra note: If anyone of you who REALLY want a striptease as bad as I am, mebbe we should form a quest in doing so! Preferbly girls.. hehe. I want mutton to do it, I definitely think that he's hot! But sshhhhhhhhh.. don't tell nobody. ;)

Extra extra Note: Let's say if you do have a web cam, restricted to girls only yahh.. you people can find lil devil. heh. Eh dude, you should thank me man, I'm doing free ad for ya! :P

While I was out, the girl who got me Lo’s number told me that now she got me his signature, with my name on it saying that he loves me. Whoah! I do smell something fishy here. First, she got me his number, now she got me his signature and told me that he said ‘WOW-thankyou’ to me. Oh well, hard to explain la, label me as an obscurer.

Despite all those, depression is slowly taking over me.

[soundbites]
Mogwai – Take Me Somewhere Nice

I couldn’t find my nose stud when I woke up this morning. Dammit, this is the second time within three weeks. Maybe I should just put on a nose ring so that I’ll look like a cow or something, you’ll be able to milk me then.

I went to the post office yesterday and it was kinda fucked up, the malay lady kept on saying “Do you understand what I am saying?” repeatedly for coupla times. I can’t deny that it somehow annoyed me, I was about to throw my temper squarely at her face. Having pms definitely did not help in keeping my temper though. Damn, why did I even bother to post a pair of disposable contact lens to my sister staying in KL? And she told me that it is urgent shit. This is so not right. At night, I have to go and get those bubble wrap brown envelope. This is stupid.

I am totally bored out of my wits. I get lost in the nothingness in me. So I changed the color of this layout for a bit. It’s nothing special so label me as a green monster.

On a semi-brighter note, Jane called and sushi king for dinner tonight... with the company of Zhee and Yen. Oh hell. Zhee is the girl who brought me all the way to Antarctica and back to Penang without contributing nuts the assignment at all. Yen is the beast of the three beauties and the beast in the class.

Belah, I’m off to remove the nail color on my fingernails and toenails. I might just pop in dizzy up the girl on my player while I munch on the california seedless raisins to keep me un-bored.

Chew on this soundbites. Check out the drum and bass at the end of the song.

[soundbites]
The Roots feat. Erykah Badu – You Got Me

Testing.. testing.. I am the green monster and you are the guinea pig.

memang Blogger is acting up. Still can't get any shit done.

Blogger is acting up. I'm getting my old codings instead of the new ones. Garh.

oh yesterday.. the total hit of this page was the highest among any other days! Thank you goes out to each and everyone of you.

Had 3 slices of pizza and I'm full. so not me.. which one do you prefer? Pizza Hut or US Pizza? Personally, I'd pick Pizza Hut because of the stuff crust, but let's say if I were to go for lots of ingredients or in layman, stuff.. I'd definitely go for US Pizza. What say you?

Now, I'm craving for Japanese food. ho hum, I'm a pregnant lady! oh and undeniable that honeydew bubble tea rules. :D

Here's a song that I've been looping in my Winamp3.. soothing yet meaningful and straight-forward.

Flop Poppy - Cinta
Dan kunyayikan kau lagu cinta
Seindahnya sinar mentari
Seanggunnya sinar rembulan

Dan kunyayikan kau lagu rindu
Kerna sesungguhnya hati ini masih lagi
Lemas dalam kerinduan

Cintaku
Hampir setiap kalinya tak jemu-jemu
Cintaku
Nyanyikan lagu ini

Cintaku
Hampir setiap kalinya tak jemu-jemu
Cintaku
Nyanyikan lagu ini penawar rindu

Dan kusebutkan namamu
Dalam doaku setiap kalinya
Agar kau kembali
Menenangkan hati

Dan kusebutkan namamu
Dalam doaku setiap kalinya
Agar kau kembali
Menenangkan hati dan perasaan

Ini bukan yang pertama kalinya
Cinta kupergi

I've listened to this song for many times and unlike this morning, I cried a lil not knowing the reason why. I was watching the music video and suddenly tears came draining out of my eyes for no particular reason. No, not because of the storyline in the video. But then I do think that the video is awesome. The next thing I know, I have my comforter covered over my head while I was curled up with my boalster and comforter. Yah, like a prawn.

On a brighter note, I was having a joy ride yesterday, pretty fun. First to SL's, then Rishant's then near USM for some twisted bubble tea(yuck) and oily tomyam(ajinomoto is more like it!) mee. Eeekk. After went all the way up to the airport, I dropped them home and this time around, picked up Alvin. I came home around 9 smth and then off I went to Gurney to have Swiss Mocha Latte. Yummy!! :)

and somehow I just hate it when someone ask me to stop smoking. damn you people, it gets a lil annoying at times. SCREWW YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!~~!!#@!! *

There. I'm feeling better already and I'm off to take my shower and then will go shopping with SL.

Coldplay - The Scientist
Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

For those of you who dont know who Jason Lo is. shame shame. :P
Yepp, gerrard is correct he is the fella who sings Evening News. That hit single and So Julie are from the first album, Days Without Dawn and so, here is a pic of him. Well, actually I do have a few pics of him and of course myself.. together. *duh* I got a few pics with him when he performed for the X-Fresh Music Festival back in September 2002. If you want to have a look at a newer him or *ahem* me.. let me know. If you're lucky, you might get to see me looking like a poodle showing off her middle finger.

Nahhhhh... *drum rolls*



*hum hum*
You... I broke you... It's not true... I've been used, I've been on the evening news..

Cheerio. I'm dead on saturday night.

Do you feel the way you hate
Do you hate the way you feel
Always closest to the flame
Ever closer to the blade

Boy, am I glad to hear that his dad is doing fine. I have been through that kind of situation as well, his dad or rather his whole family is lucky to have such a great support coming from relatives, friends and fellow well wishers. Back then my situation wasn’t that lucky. Vultures were behind our backs and preying and stabbing away with their parangs. Allow me to say this, I think that nothing feels even worse than this.

I guess that somehow gave me a lil bit of influence on the shaping of my current character. I can’t be as bubbly as before. Things turned grey and dull. He can’t get up and I can’t get up as well. I am lying there while inhaling the air with no feelings or whatsoever. But he is looking down on me now although he is still lying there.

Sigh.

Alive without breath. As cold as death.

Anyway, when I took my nap just now, a friend of mine suddenly sms-ed me and asked if I want Jason Lo’s number. OMG. *covers mouth in disbelief* and so, I got his number.. though am not sure if it’s for real. Come to think about it, let’s say if I suddenly sms or call him right, I might be considered as a stalker. Hah. You tell me what should I do to know if that number is really his and how should I do not to sound like a stalker?

Well, my nap only lasted for 20 minutes and that’s it. The sky looked like it was around 8pm while it was only 6pm.

And now if you ask me how I feel right now, I think I am depressed and down. Even the mild seven that I am having taste awful and I think it is taking a toll on me.

[soundbites]
Everclear - Wonderful

Yippie!!! It's raining now... I love that feeling when it rains.

Double joy for me as there is another gig happening in Penang! *jumps for joy*

so here's the flyer and be informed.



A little run down on the bands playing for the gig.

Love Me Butch - winner of AIM award. One of the best bands in the country.
NerveWreck - best live band in the country.
Strangedays - they've been very quiet lately. electronica ala Depeche Mode abit. Very big in the KL electronic scene.
Force Vomit - this Singaporean band was rated in Tone's best 40 albums of the year. P. Ramlee meets surf rock. They are wicked live!
O.D.I - Overdose Infinity, members of the Wreck side project. Come support fellow Penangites.
Soundcraft 1 - most of you will know the previous name, Vertical Speed and it's band leader Vinh. The Godfather of Penang gigs.

okay, nap time for me. I'll post up another entry tonight.

Why am I not blogging lately? Being a college student, hell assignments are a lot. Well, people like me are not lucky to get assignment. Besides, I was fucking pissed with my one and only group mate. I couldn’t care much about it now. It’s over even though she took me for granted, or worse still, took her assignment for granted. Distress man.

So many things happened since the last time I blogged. My life pretty much revolves around college and studies. Actually, at this point of writing I have one group assignment pending. Oh and two more to hand up after the holiday. Sigh.

Haven’t been putting my spectacles into good use, I just couldn’t be bothered to put it on. My eyes are really tired and I have been putting on eye-mo which it didn’t help I think. My eyes are still tired and itchy. Not to mention that I have dark, dark circles with red, red eye balls. My phone bill has gone up due to telephone calls and internet fees. Those pimples and oily skin problems are coming back to me now. And within 60 hours, I’ve only taken my shower once. How sick is that? Did I just gross you out? :P There are a few cuts here and there. Erm, I've accidentally cut my index finger. Wooo. Bandaged finger typing on a keyboard. Hah.

On a brighter note, after this week, I will be having my autumn break for two weeks. I have plans to go down to Tambun and Taiping. Whoohooo.

A funny thing happened on the 8th, Valent called me up and he thought that it was my birthday back then. LOLZ.. not in a month’s time la. And I just found out the reason why I couldn’t log on to my account for internet access in the college is because of my prosecution of rule #6, which is viewing of pornography! I tell you, I am speechless. Heck, pathetic.

You see the above URL, happens to have the word ‘Advisory” right? Somehow the college authority considers that as one of the words for restriction access. Wtf? You know, parental advisory, advisory?? Yah, memang WTF?! But then if I add in world wide web (www) in front before the word advisory, it will be okay and I can view my blog. Garh. Well, after today I will be able to access to my account. Relief.

Recently I can’t really contain my anger. I was pissed at my only group mate, like REAL fucking pissed. If anytime she were to do that to me again, I am going to damage her. I have nearly reached my tolerance limit.

Oh well, the bouncing, throbbing, vigorous and briskly dancing beats in my blood stream are really getting out of hand lately. I have the urge. And good news is, I’M GOING! Wheeeeeee~ I can’t wait!!! :D

Till then, shower time for me. :)

[soundbites]
Frou Frou - Breathe In (Ben Watt Remix)

I was drown in a sea of liquor

And I was washed up in a beach made out of cocaine

The sky was made out of LSD

And every tree was made of marijuana

But the cops pulled me over

They did not arrest me

Instead they sucked my d***

And it was beautiful that God came down from heaven

He said to me,

We will no longer spell the word God,

I said how do you wanna spell it, God?

He said gimme a D

Gimme a R

Gimme a U

Gimme a G

Gimme a S

And what does that spell?



stupid fuck. Apparently, I am pissed right now and I feel like killing. I feel like doing some serious damage.

Hmm, the pen knife is really useful at this time.

I had a dream last night, you want to hear that dream?

to him, now is already past 12 but as for me, it's almost 12.
anyways..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KILLUMINATI :)

okay, no need liao.
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frusfration. I didn't know that my guestbook is NOT free. (I sounded like a freeloader don't I?) I'm on a 30 day trial and it will expire soon. My stupid eyes didn't see it. argh. and what? I just got myself like, 9 entries. bugger! who knows any host that provides free guestbook? Allow me to emphasize on that, FREE.

stupid. Everything comes with a price.

The new plug is up on the stretching. The size is 2ga which was confirmed by the more professional and experienced Eugene. I spend rm34 for the surgical steel plug. I nearly can't twist open the plug to do cleaning after I took my shower! Phew! Now I am terrified no more. :)

Talking about money, I just bought a rm60 reload card and top up my account. It's not like I have a choice. Hotlink only provides either rm60 or rm100 reload card. What's the total again? 34 + 60 = ? You just do the counting for me, I can't look!! *closes eyes with both hands*

Oh, news. A malay lady around the age of 30ish went to this accessory shop that I was in yesterday. She did her belly, lower lip and nose piercing all at ONCE!!! That costs her rm110 and she brought along her son! She even have a Celtic tattoo on her lower back, you know or maybe other words, back lower hips.
Fulamak! Dahsyat I tell you.

I dropped by one-stop yesterday to buy myself a cup of bubble tea, which it sucked because this newbie did it for me. Garh! Anyway I went back to the optometrist and told him that there is a scratch on the edge of my right frame. The color came out and exposed the inner part of the black coating, it is quite obvious seeing that there is one small patch of silver.

With my already problematic eyes, of course I didn't notice it when I picked up the spec so the optometrist being really nice then he agreed to change the frame for me. But wait a minute! There is no similar color available. They just have the silver color of that particular model. Shucks.

After 10 minutes of so called consideration, they managed to persuade me and I changed to the silver color one. Yah and I am wearing it right now. Hur hur.. So okay, the next thing I know everybody and I really mean EVERYBODY thinks that the black color one looks best on me. Garh.. very geram. Erm, maybe not everybody because you didn't manage to see me in either one of them. So screw me anyway for being a nitpicky arse and ignorant-or-illiterate-lil-brat-who-cant-spell-or-form-her-sentence-correctly-and-still-wants-to-have-a-blog-of-her-own :P

Haiyoh, so I made a call to him telling him that I want the black color one back, meaning they will have to call the KL branch to see if it is available or not and will let me know soon. (and they have not call me yet!! Humph.)

Okay, now you know that I am fickle minded.
I don't care man. I paid for that damn shit so I have a say in that alright? lolz.

Bloody hell. I tell you this. Research methodology assignment 2, marketing assignment 1, marketing plan and a final paper all is on Tuesday. Uh-huh. I have not even started on these assignments and haven't study about the final paper either. So not good.

For fucks sake, I'm staying in Malaysia to complete my degree. Hua hua hua.

Stupid fuck. Cheng beng this weekend and my sister is being ________ and will not come back due to 'work commitment'. Dunno lah, you just fill in the blank. Me and mummy will do all the work.

Double stupid fuck. The leader of our business project is being ________ (yah, fill in the blank again) and just left the college and back to his house without responding to the supposed interview with the Benz manager, which he didn't want to make the call in the first place and now since we made an appointment and now he is giving us all this shit. You see, we should go to the branch office of Benz to have an interview with the manager supposedly this week but then now the lecturer already delayed the duration, we have to do it ASAP.

Oh what the heck man. I'll drop this topic this instance cuz it made the deputy leader really annoyed and pissed. Next, I saw her crying when I wind down the window to wave at her when I was on my way back. Aiyah, everybody is tensed lah k?

My ex were online just now. I talked to him for a bit and then I found out that he still can't forget me. He's erm, with or has been with girls who looks like me. Obsession?! Errrr? Unfair to the girl as it may sound or scary and pathetic as it may sound but I have doubts here man.

I am hungry now. My nose bled just now.

[soundbites]
DDA - Nadoken

Nigel who just made a comment on the taggie just gave me the idea of posting these pictures up. Okaylah, I don't have a digicam so I'll just post up pics of pics taken by someone else. :P you rich brat! you still owe me firefighter!!!!!

Right, be amazed. I got this in my mailbox a few days ago. Claims to be Thai men.














erm, unbelievable.

stomach-ache-lahhhh. diarrhoea alert!!

huwah.. got back my LOTR vcds and I managed to watch it just now! still nice and still fresh, I LIKE!!!
I even have the time to paint my finger nails dark blue and toe nails burgundy.
oh oh and downloaded 4 songs. :D

and I just reliazed that I have a final paper tmr. THREE assignments to hand up.

boohoohoo.

Smiling and greeting people as I always do. College started off pretty well. Had econs class for an hour and then took a dunhill lights to recharge. Got myself a free box of ice lemon tea. The lecturer then dismissed the class earlier cuz he has smth to attend to. Settled myself in the library but couldn’t get myself to register anything that I read. At that time, I really cursed myself for not bringing my discman along with me. Things started to go down from there.

The afternoon class was being cancelled because the lecturer is on mc. Poor thing, she can’t even talk. Hope that she gets better. So basically I was in the library since 11.30am to 4.30pm. I was running in and out for 5 hours. My classmates, I mean plural here, came in and sat with me on the same table. No concentration. Being someone who is oh-so-nice, I didn’t voice out my dismay. Besides, the whole library was so fucking noisy anyway.

“oh.. now I’m going on a new diet. I can’t possibly swallow down a plate of rice now. All I can eat is two slices of bread.”

“yknow.. yesterday I went to gurney and OMG! I saw one SEED leather bag, it’s so nice!”

“hmm, I think they will be having a sale starting from __ to __. Let’s go there!”

Yak yak yak yak yak.

Even if I switched to the next table. My other classmates were yakking as well. There is no god.

The most unbelievable thing happened after that. As I was talking to Rishant just outside the library, Jasdev was with us as well. Out of a sudden, biatch and biatch II were on their way back from the canteen. Biatch probably saw me but then pretended that she didn’t see me and walk away. The worst part is biatch II juling her eyes away. Stupid fuck. It’s like I owe her or smth! And gosh, I didn’t even do anything to her. Not that I bitch about her or I did smth wrong towards her. What the fuck is her problem? Bloody hell.

And hey, I am not making up a story here. Rishant saw that as well.

And yes Jasdev if you ask me who biatch is. I am sure that you can figure out who that is so you need not ask me that question again.

As for those who is a frequent here, I am sure that you have not heard of me mention biatch II eh? So this biatch II is biatch’s good friend. Go figure. This case is even worse but I have not bitched about biatch II have I?

Excuse me, if you think that I am bitching, then I am bitching but hell, I do need a place to be sane, insane, happy and angry. This is it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I got another box of beverage for free in the afternoon as well. Gosh, I have not tasted milo this sweet and this tasty before. Hah, courtesy of someone nice. The same person who treated me ice lemon tea in the morning. Pretty dandy.

My stretching is done. So the next stop, I will be spending around rm30 for the plug. Or maybe more or less. I’ll let you know.

By the way how can someone mistake our local Haze with the international Dirty Vegas? Changes vs Days Go By.

[soundbites]
DDA – Naninong

I’ve got news for you. Good and bad. Big ones and small ones. Tall and short ones. Rant and raves. Beware.

Suddenly don’t feel like blogging about it. I’m better off alone with a fag and then to the restroom.

Sleep in for tomorrow and I will blog then.

Those who wish that I’m dead and think that I am a retard, please leave.

Just leave me alone. bugger off.