Feck.

sorry folks but im really and seriously panicking. this is a post which doesnt make sense at all. im gonna let it all out. well, yeah out man out. garh.

goddamn, i need luck, i need goddamn luck.. and time, fcuking tons of time. lack of time. need preparations. i need to be well prepared. nooo i cant afford to disappoint myself. shit.

and now im in dire need of talking to someone. boohoo to the two ppl that i called just now.

i feel lonely. damn all rolled into one.

im loosing my cool. not good.

ive got no one to turn to.

ppl are getting sick of me, theyre trying to get rid of me.

*sulks*

[soundbites]
the cooper temple clause - let's kill music

Needle And Blood.

Hey peeps. *waves*

Nope, I didnt faint at the sight of needle. In fact, I was looking at the pamphlet about papsmear and diabetes. teehee.

My brother went in and I managed to witness the whole process. It was easy. One, two, three, youre done. It was like a breeze.

So I went and sat down on the chair. It was my turn.
The first needle was poked into my skin, yes you heard me, first needle. It was aimed at my right hand. After several minutes, the fella was still there struggling, trying to find the vein. Imagine a needle poked through your skin and it has to move left and right to find the vein and not to mention he tried to pump out blood but that didnt happen. He gave up and took out the needle and told me that he's going to do it for the second time, this time on my left hand. Gosh, at that time, my right hand was feeling sore and weak.

So whats next?

He used another needle and poked into my left hand, no worries, I did make sure that he used a new needle and this time around, it was a success!
Oh Bleeding Joy!

I was hoping, really hoping that he would get it done nicely for the second time around. I remembered last time, when my dad was in the hospital and I was a kid back then, I was horrified at the sight of needles, needles that poke through your skin to suck some blood out of your body. It was prolly because after several times of the not-so-gentle nurse poking at the same spot and same area, it resulted my dad's hand to be swollen and turned purple black. I remembered my dad cried in pain. I remembered it as a very horrifying experience.

And it didnt help because I was a kid back then, I didnt know what pain is, I was a naive lil kid. The sight of my role model and heroic dad cried in pain was really scary. And from that day onwards, I have never been to the hospital or clinic to get my blood sucked for whatever medical reason. Yes and that means that I dont even know my blood type. As you can see, today is a new experience for me. It was sort of facing my fear experience. Poor me, I have to walk out of the center with two plasters instead of one. Weak sista!

So here, some pictures that marks the day I got my blood sucked.

Outcome of first attempt, on my right.



Plaster removed. Puny red dot. How cute.



Second attempt. SUCCESS!



No prize for spotting my vein. Heh.


I'll be getting the results in a week's time. I think they're going to do a complete 53 tests on the blood. That includes cancer test and diabetes test, just to mention a few. Well, will let you guys know about my blood type soon. Hehe.

In the mean time, Ive got to study hard for my exam this Friday. Garh, three more days to go. Wish me luck.!

[soundbites]
OK Go - Dont Ask Me

Hello kids.

say hi to my blog.. and crappy quality picture(s).



test. yes testing if the server is fine. and tomorrow i'd be going for a medical check up. err bloody blood test actually. wish me luck for not having to faint at the sight of needle! wahahahahahah.

[soundbites]
Blonde Redhead - Elephant Woman

Rain.

Its raining cats and dogs now!

Man I love rain, I hope it never stops raining.

Wish I could go out and get wet and soaked in the rain.

But I think I'd prefer drizzles.

[soundbites]
Jazzanova - Introspection

My Dream.

i just woke up not long ago.

i feel the urge to write this down.

it happened not long ago. i dreamt about you.

you were looking handsome as usual. i was there drooling at you. you said something/someone was trashing you in friendster, which in reality you are not active at all because you were so indie. that somehow lead to a new layout in your website.

while we're at it, you put up some of the poems that you wrote. not necessarily for me. but i thought it was for me anyway because you said it was me who inspires you to write those.

it rhymes with my name and you linked me up.

for a moment i thought i was in heaven. i thought i was injected with endorphins for once. i swear i could feel my heart pounding faster and faster when i read the poem. gosh, at least i was always facinated by that idea. i swear i could feel your presence. i think i could even feel your breath.

i woke up when i wanted to hug you.

it was sad. i realized that i could not have you. i could not even hold you. i could not even hug you.

in real life, you perhaps already have another one. a better one.

but i dont know, im always hanging around in the midst of confusion. my love was never justified. i was always taken for granted.

for a moment there, i wish that i would continue dreaming. so that i could see you, yes i was *that* close in hugging you. i wish so hard that i closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

but that didnt happen.

why do i always dream of you? why must i always see you in my dreams?

i am here writing this down and wondering why it didnt happen.

[soundbites]
ben harper - when she believes

Junk.

i woke up yesterday and i was struck by realization.

.. that i am a waste. a waste for myself. a waste for my parents. a waste of womb space and pain. a waste of oxygen. a waste of resources.

what the hell am i doing here? why am i here?

so many years of living in this damn world, what good have i done? what have i achieved?

perhaps i beat anorexia.

thats it.

i am officially a waste.

so here i am, wasting my life away, sitting at home doing nothing on a saturday night.

perhaps i should end my life too.

[soundbites]
frou frou - old piano

You Comment On This.

I woke up today and broke my routine, I need not have to feed my iguana anymore. It feels kind of weird.

Today, actually, these few days, I drove like a madwoman and that scares me.

Nasi tomato with lotsa curry. Lemak curry, curry merah and some dalcha, oh not forgetting the potatoes, gotta love 'em.

Anyway stomach's full and Im lighting up a fag right now.
They say if you fag after dinner, you die faster.
Myth or fact, you tell me. Clarifications?

If it's a fact, for hell sure I am coming soon.

[soundbites]
Epicure - Dark Room Candle Burning

Catnap.

I woke up coupla hours ago and now Im feeling sleepy again.

And I hate my lecturers, they're all bastards. He's suppose to be my lecturer in charge but now it's the *other* lecturer in charge now. WTF is this relevant? I called couple of times, no one picked up. Frustrated. Goddamn, exam next week? Fuck you. One moment this, another moment that. When is this ever going to stop? Goddamn pricks. They can go suck eggs instead of teach.

Dizzy. I think Im going to take a nap now.

[soundbites]
DJ Tiësto - Deep Trance Mix

Added.

Yesterday, the lecturer who taught me that subject, lets call him Mr L, told me that he's still waiting for another student's feedback, thats why the exam is still pending. Today, another lecturer, Mr Y, yes that means that this lecturer is not in any way subject to this issue emailed me just now telling me to contact him so that he could discuss with me next week's exam. Mahai, next week. !!!

First of all, if Mr L knows that Mr Y is going to take charge of the exam instead of him, he could have told me over the phone when I called him yesterday. Secondly, upon receiving Mr Y's email, I called him, no answer. I replied his email with the slightest clue of whats going on and this the kind of reply that I get.


From: Lecturer, Mr Y {y***@mycollegedomain.edu.my>}
To: My name {myname@hotmail.com}
Subject: RE: Name of Subject
Date: Fri, 26 Mar 2004 16:39:42 +0800

I'm in charge now.


Goddamn, fine, there's no proper explaination or acknowledgment. Garh, I called him again and there's no answer.

How the hell am I going to contact him in that case? If you havent noticed, it is already Friday and two more days to go and its next week.

Im back to zero underground.

Neurotic.. not.

My three hours of solitary outing which consists of driving around and walking around motivated me to write this.

I slept around 2 smth, almost 3 in the morning. The usual tossing and turning with thoughts and haunting virus that wont leave my feeble body. I managed to sleep anyway. Only to my dismay, I got up around 7am and to my surprise the sun wasnt shining at all! It was almost shining but not yet, it was still dark goddammit. Why the hell did I get up so early for? It's not like I will be able to go back to school with my one size too small pinafoe(?) and my pair of dirty white school shoe.

So I got up, switched on the pc and posted the previous entry and afterwards realized that I am the only idiot who gets up so goddamn early in the morning and that no one will be able to accompany me to eat dim sum.. well, that is unless some friends in a different timezone, but what the heck, fly to Auz or UK? My arse. Im kidding myself. So, I went downstairs while I left my pc to download some tracks. Oh yummy, wholemeal bread with ham and fried egg. Then poured myself a small glass of milk. Mix fm was playing Bright Lights so I sms-ed him and told him that he crossed my mind and to have a great day. Aint Likki nice? No reply.

So it is almost already 12 hours that I havent had anything. But its okay, a sick person cant simply eat McD or KFC or anything oily or fastfood during the process of healing, can she? Am practising celibacy where food is concerned. Shaddup.

*yawns* Suddenly deprived of sleep so I went and lie down on my bed and slept for another two hours more. Took my second shower of the day and then I took the car keys, drove around aimlessly. Fuck my diseases, fuck sickness, Im going to get the hell out of the house. I just feel like its time for me to get some good quality solitary time for myself instead of sitting at home and rot the hell out.

Drove along the beach and it reminded me of him. Made a u-turn and then got to the basement and parked my car, on a very strategic spot though, lucky me. While I was going up the stairs I saw an old friend who was smoking just outside of the mall, went up to him, smoked, chatted for a lil and if ya dont mind, Im going to do a judgemental whacketty whack whack session on the people that I met along the way from a bookstore to a record store and from the corridor to the carpark. I dont go clothes/shoe shopping.

Him.
Sweet talker tak jadi. Freelance tattoo artiste tak jadi. Managing Director in a small local newspaper company, ahem, kononnya. Heavy metal guitarist tak jadi and he could be doing a really good job at private eyeing someone. Womanizer, whoops, Ah-Lian-izer. If you get what I mean. He just took off once his homie ah lians showed up. Nope, no byebyes as well. No pats, no contacts. That's what we are.

Her.
No biggie. Normal chick that goes shopping and went out of cash and had to borrow some money to pay the parking ticket. She's your typical girl-next-door who lost your number but wishes to stay in touch with you. Now go back and read that sentence again.

Her.
3 years my junior in high school, clad in blue pinafoe with a green horizontal stripe and loosely tied school shoe on her feet. Short but greasy hair, her mouth wouldnt stop talking, for crying out loud. Trying to be cool is the word. I mean come on, how could you be cool while youre in your school uniform walking around in a mall and yakking nonstop while she doesnt even know my name? While we're at this, could someone please enlighten me on this. A sign, actually a paper that has the word "No School Uniform" on it that was stuck in front of a snooker center but who actually gives a toss about it? I mean this girl entered this place and there were a couple more of uniform clad girlies and guys to be spotted. Wtf is this? You tell me. Oh and it was way past staying back for club meetings. Later I had to wait for her and droped her off at my high school. To sum it up, attention seeking behaviour was written all over her school uniform. Period.

Her.
Saw her while she was happily laughing and walking towards my direction. Used to cycled with her and have evening walks around our housing area. We would cycled to the red earth land that was idled for years from the housing project and have girlie talks and enjoy the scenery and breeze. She was with a guy and much prettier than the last time I saw her. Boy do I miss the times when I was a kid, being protected, naive, nuisance, loved, carefree and spoilt.

Him.
He came up to me and said hi to me at the record store. Indeed surprised and glad. He's less than almost the same wavelength with me when it comes to music taste. He's more the radio-mainstream guy but it's alright, I introduced Finger Eleven to him and he was blankly nodding his head and scratching his head. Oh yes! Boy was I happy to see that album, but too bad it was not the latest one. Anyways I wanted to keep in touch with him but I didnt get his number or anything like that. Sigh. Music gets me off my feet sometimes that I forgot to fall back into proper place.

Him.. clad with his pooch. Bitch to be exact.
I knew that I would bump into someone, someone who was in my past. Yes, indeed. I saw him walking my direction but for christ's sake, I didn't move my arse at all. I know that his pooch was with him. The same pooch that I saw him with two months back. Aww man, still the same pooch? Goddamn. Thought he changes his poochies from time to time. I suppose she fucks submissively well. He saw me while I was purposely looking the other direction to my right while he was on my left. He kept looking at me and when I finally turned and looked at him, he didnt smile and the pooch was grasping his arm even tighter looking at me. No worries bitch, am not going to prey on your blackball liar. I suppose he said something to her, that's why her reaction was like that. He didnt smile at me and I just looked at him blankly. Though I think it was quite a pathetic situation for me. I was sitting there alone, not to mention sick and pale looking, sipping on self-bought bubble tea, aimless, not even a friend next to me while he walked past me clad with a chick who has got the same chinese surname as me while both clinging on to each other looking at me like Im a black maria.

Goddamn and ya thought you want to have a good quality solitary time for yourself.

Frankly speaking, I think I grew out of having a companion. Pathetic as it may seem but I am pure with my heart, words and dreams. I believe that one day, not now, not tomorrow, not the day after that but in the future. Someday I will be able to fall in love with my heart without fear and reach out to my better half with my might. In the mean time, to hell with whoever that was once in my sordid past, hurt me in whichever way, whoever that thinks they are better than I am and whoever that descriminated me.

Surprisingly Im dead calm. I dont give a toss. Im with myself, sticking up to myself because nobody, not even you can do that for me. I believe, no one.

I rest my case.

Gosh, these things inspire you.

[soundbites]
Disagree - Scarecrow Adams

Breakfast, Anyone?

Since I cant go back to sleep.

This is goddamn early.

One thing.

It's never cool to regret the things you didn't do, right? The writer wrote himself a note in the form of a song to tell himself just that. If you'd like to become less of a coward than you already are, try this one.

Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It?s nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line

If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn?t that be something

I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time
But not this time

Even though I know
I don?t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds

by Finger Eleven

Schleep.

amnesia > deprivation of sleep > dizzy > headache > nose blocked > sneezed > dry throat > coughings > fever > need_sleep_badly

my iguana is still very snappy. i got a few whackings from that fella. and i cant find my text book!

goddamn do i feel mighty sick and groggy. :(

[soundbites]
Ladytron - Seventeen

Bubble Dimension.

it has been awfully awhile now that R had disappeared to the other side of the country, studying somewhat at that kind of age but with full scholarship. suddenly R called me up one day and wanted to get back in touch. which is cool. he said he loves me. w00t.

D wanted to suicide though D is a very confident yet lovable rainchild who has got a way with god and words. cant remember the reason why he wanted to commit suicide but he was really trying to suicide. body soaked in kerosine and threatens to light himself up anytime. with his left hand he was holding a bic red lighter and wailing. somehow he did light himself up and he was trapped in a transparent container that we could see exactly what he was doing and perhaps not what he was saying. but wth, someone rescued him.

biatch is dead. due to some reason which i dont recall at all.

the same goes to bro. blardy hell. *TOUCHWOOD!* this has gone way too far beyond line.

D made love to the author of this weblog. fantastic. perhaps its time to give up wanking.

but then its only (a) dream(s).

thats quite a number of dreams for a night. god knows how many times i woke up and continue sleeping after that.

someone please sing me "farewell and goodnight", hopefully you know who you are. hopefully.

Vent.

as my furiousity slowly started to fade away, i unblocked this guy who i was debating to last time about country being mainstream suddenly msged me and said smth like "gee... still allive?... tot ya already dead."

that brainless fuck fuck fucker mother fucker fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuckity fuckity fuck fuck.

ok, done. rant over.



FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Furiousity Kills The Cat.

first of all i dont get those people who just dont stay dead. i need time for myself and then they come around with their attention seeking behaviour. pestering me. garh.

and as for those ppl who i have msged and they insist on staying dead, fine. im fed up anyway. should i put on red carpet for you and bring on the spotlights?

as for my 60s hamsap lecturer, he emailed me just now giving me exactly one week to prepare for my exam. screw you, thats all i have to say to you. pfdt.

signed up for planet.time.net.my for free webspace but ftp page not working. i cant login. wtf.

imood.com is not working either. i typed in my username and password correctly but it refuse to let me in.

i'll need to go back to the vet this coming friday.

there's a pimple on my forehead. and one on the thigh.

application form will have to send in asap and still deciding whether i should make a trip down there.

i just found out that i could get my webcam with a cheaper price.

my assumption is justified, he got a partner. and i've done my homework for stalking. i can retire now.

someone cant stop bugging me abt me flashing my boobs and to give the iguana back. wtf.

i want to be on my own, stop bothering me. bugger off.

just found out that i look goddamn serious/furious whenever i look at the screen. ppl should be running off by now.

good.

cuz i feel furious and sad at the same time.

[soundbites]
coldplay - sparks

I awake to find no peace of mind,
I said, how do you live as a fugitive?

Down here where I cannot see so clear.

I said, what do I know?
Show me the right way to go,
And the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
But the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them though,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.

I awake to see that no one is free
We're all fugitives,
Look at the way with it.
Down here, I cannot sleep from fear no.

I said, which way do I turn?
I forget everything I learn,
But the spies came out of the water,
But you're feeling so bad cos you know,
But the spies hide out in every corner,
But you can't touch them though,
Cos they're all spies, they're all spies.

And if we don't buy here,
They're going to find us,
If we don't buy now,
They're going to catch us where we see,
And if we don't hide here
They're going to find us.

Bleeding Day.

goddamn, do i feel awfully sick today.

i think it all started on sunday night. amnesia is to be blamed and someone with the initial s called me up and talked. so everything began to go on a very blur motion, not slow but blur.

with almost (read: almost!) 4 hours of sleep i was woken up by some loud noises which i was trying hard to ignore. it was my mom yelling at my dogs downstairs. i just had to get out of my bed and see whats going on there. so i did and when i got downstairs both of my dogs were fighting with each other, biting each other at their mouth respectively and refusing to let go even after they were hit several times at their backsides. hey we have to do that or else just watch them? thats plain pathetic.

anyway, my house dog, the one staying inside the house wanted to join the fight. wtf. i quickly carried the fella in and shut the door. finally when the two dogs outside let loose of each other, the smaller one was bleeding. mind you, not the ordinary bleeding but those thick blood dripping kinda thing. its nasty. the smell of blood was a real turn off. it smells of tin or smth like that. blergh. i had to clean the mess. since it was early in the morning, the vet will only be arriving at the clinic around 9 so in the mean time i used a towel to wipe off the blood and another one to wrap the poor fella with. boy, she was really shaking and i had to pet her and comfort the poor thing.

it was time to clean up the mess or else the blood would really stain on the floor. although it was just only 5 minutes, there were couple of flies got to the attention of blood and started flocking the place. oh yeah, forgot to tell ya guys, the reason why they got into a fight was because the bigger one had finished her food and its a bad habit of hers to 'steal' the food of smaller one. the whole scene was nasty, very nasty although ive had experiences when it comes to dog fights but this is repugnant, especially the dripping of thick blood. think, on my shirt and all that.

the bigger dog is fine but surprisingly the smaller one is hurt. after consulting the doctor, that fella has got a fractured jaw. she had to go for an x-ray tmr or the day after that. if its a major operation that needs to be done to her jaw, it will have to be held in kl, which is kinda suckie. we're currently hoping that its just a minor operation that can be done here. tsk, the fella has been feeling sick/weak and still a lil shaken up.

after the incident, i took a shower and then went out with my mom, did some errands, had lunch and at this point, while eating lunch reminds me of the amount of thick blood that i've witnessed and came in contact with. it was just plain non-appetizing.

anyway i was being a driver the whole day for my mom and as promised she got me the webcam yesterday. after that, we went to pelita at bayan baru to have dinner since she suddenly have this craving for nasi kandar. i had a cream puff and bread with sambal udang since yesterday evening. suddenly im like this again. yes. its a good thing.

when i got back to the house, i have another new thingamajig besides the webcam for me, which is an iguana. a friend gave it to me. everyone freaked out and that including my sister who so happens to call me at that time and later went on a 5 minute lecture. thats it, good news, bad news at once, i've decided to give it back to my friend. and oh! status check, that fella is sleeping! very cute. :)

microphone and webcam do wonders when it comes to keeping in touch with friends overseas. in fact, i just talked to coupla good friends overseas. wonders man, wonders.

anyways tired. will update abt smth else soon.

[soundbites]
Blur - Sweet Song

Amnesia.

Goddamn. self explainatory.

Euphoric.

.. because i've spring cleaned my pc area as well as my own room. man, i sure got a whole lotta junks to be thrown away after more than a year of accumulating. oh and not forgetting the layers of dust! *faints* fine, maybe you've guessed it right, i'm just plain lazy. uwek. as for those of you who dont know, i sleep in my sister's room while she's away but when she's back i'll be backpacking [note: hubby bolter, three pillows wrap with my cozy comforter] and sleep elsewhere other than my own room and her room.

there's still her room to be cleaned up and those modules, textbooks, newspapers to be sorted out. guess that will have to postphone to monday. as for today i've sorted out my collection of mp3s in my pc. folders created, files deleted, files tranfered, files renamed. phew. i sure have a lot of mp3s, it took me almost 20 minutes to tranfer 600 files to another partition and it will only take you less than 10 seconds to delete all of them. wtf. i suppose i'll need more space soon. but in the mean time, i'm getting a webcammie soon. hmm i could hear some of you guys out there silently saying 'live streaming!' lolz.

as for my collection of cds, i've got two folders full of cds, one medium-sized box full and another stack of cds. actually i've lost count. garh. one day i promise, one day i'm going to get that sort out. i shall keep track of my cds. but hey, i do remember that i have twelve original cds in hand ok! right, that's a lot of original cds. that's quite typically malaysian if you know what i mean. ;)

i sure found quite a number of things while going through my messy junks. namely those i didnt even lost i had it or thought that i've lost it..

1) mini yellow post-it notes
2) estee lauder eyeliner
3) roller machine
4) more mp3 cds
5) state camp pictures
6) neon green post-it notes
7) intel notepads
8) laconic red leather bracelet
9) post cards
10) local & international gig flyers
11) file full of certs
12) pink post-it notes
13) high school graduation pictures
14) ex's pictures
15) lost & found love letters/tokens
16) neutrogena lip moisturizer
17) blue notepads
18) tattoo & piercing mag
19) complete back issues of Tone & KLue

oh and just dont get me started on my collection of magazines. pening kepala now, dunno what to do with them. throw them? keep them? what now? GARH.

the list of things that i've lost is perhaps my precious address book! one which consists of most up to date addresses of friends locally and overseas. i'm really really terrified at this point. i just hope that i will be able to find it soon. *fingers crossed*

in the mean time, let's just groove to this song. it's a saturday night afterall. take it easy.

[soundbites]
The Music - The People

All Sewn Up.

yes, by longwave.

earlier i wrote an entry but then my 30 gig punya harddisk is almost full so it was protesting and caused my pc to hang. byebye entry. that fella needs a breather.

i am still way full out of my stomachs control. i had too much food. the next thing i know, i was swallowing down one big arse jug full of water and more than 10 green pills and the next minute, shitting.

my life is not exactly exciting like how he had said it. in another words, its boring. ive been slacking and rotting. i even joked to myself that i want to become a whatchamacallit opposite of a gynaecologist. yes i am high on smth. smth that is called batu. i took a whole block of it. and here i am kinda batu-fied as well. it is fairly obvious rite? mebbe not. oh its called urologist.

i want to blog as to what has been happening in my life and all that. but hell do i feel lazy to write about it as the list is countless. but again, i really want to write and i want to write good shit. i want to please myself. i want to know that i am still a useful person. i hate being shit and shitty.

wahey i am blogging anyway. i got to amuse my depressed self ok.

but ive cut down a whole lot on ciggies so that should actually stop depression. but cutting down on that doesnt provide me any benefits as i am still broke. ive lost directions. dont swap places with me now you. i'd rather make good use of my brains instead of just fantasizing about things that wont happen. everyday listening to morbid and mellow songs from coldplay, HIM, sp and jeff buckley wont help me.

i have asked myself what is really bothering me and ive given some thoughts about it. but there are like so many things here. so many of them that i lost track of what was really bothering me. i even lost track of my life. how it used to be a okay.

pms? nope. i'd have low tolerance and easily annoyed. family? i wonder how it would be like if he is still around. how things are currently around the household. trouble with mom. guys? shitless stories about it. but im kinda cool with it now. im not looking for a soul mate now. but sometimes it gets to you.. hits you hard on the face. looking back on what had happened to me. shitless. friends? not around anymore. ive got no one to turn to. what a drag.

i suppose there is the weather to blame. hah. it rained out of a sudden and then the next, i could see sunshine while looking outside at the balcony.

i want to go and see the sunset. i want to walk along the beach with cool breeze brushing through my chubby face. to be able to feel the ability of my hair to dance gracefully to the imaginary rhythm.

sunset is such a breath-taking scene.

i wrote this on my small lil white book and it reads..

tanned skin. uncombed hair. felt sticky. no shower for more than 24 hors. food down ther hroat and half way thru it had to give way. it had to get out. toilet, out out it went. she felt fat.

when depressed chewed on nails. those ugly and bald looking fingers. eww. they were not bald 3 hours ago.

lost track of life, what has been happeningin her life. shit, shitty, shit, shit.

one of the days. one of those days.

it rained. it rained today. it always rained on her. she cried.

yes yes friends talked to her, invited her to go chillout but she declined. she freaking declined. why.

shit shitty shit shit.

thats all. i feel shitty.

shitless.

ps thank you .

[soundbites]
red house painters - have you forgotten

Fiddle-Faddle.

Ah yes, finally got the time to sit down in front of the pc and post an update for my blog.

Clearly the reason for my obvious disappearance in the virtual world is because I have been busy. Period. It's not like anybody gives a toss about it.

Besides, my monitor went kaput on me so it's clear why I havent gone online lately.

So last couple of week(s) back, I attended a Soundmaker gig @ Actors Studio Greenhall, dated back 21st of February. Yes, you know Im a lazy broad when it comes to posting up pictures.

Gig 7 : The Indie Agenda
featuring bands like III A, Blaze, Soundcraft One, Swearwood, Untitled, Whitelight, Yue Yu Lu, Zan.

The gig was held on a Saturday night so there were loads of cars flooding the streets as to why I got to the venue kind of late. Actually I only missed out on one (chinese) band and by the time I got there, the second band - III A was playing, well, rapping in chinese/canto. That didnt interests me so I stayed outside till the third band - Untitled comes on stage.


6 piece band - Untitled.


Alvin and James on guitar.


I particularly like Alvin's guitar strap. Groovy yet funky.


Arigato! Kow tow-ed to the audience.


Next up - Soundcraft One! Yay yay.


Soundcraft One's pride and attraction.


Another shot of the beautiful and cute Aki.


Shot of the main man - Vinh and the bassist - Adi.


Err.. so called artsy-fartsy picture of guitarist - Aiie. (Yalahx2, I checked out the flyer for their names. uwek.)


Supposedly a 5 piece band, but you cant see the keyboardist here.


The original keyboardist is a girl but a guy replaced her and another guitarist cant be seen performing that night. I heard that they left the band. Hmmmm.


Michael and Alex respectively.


There ya go!!! All together now.. Swearwood in full length.

Like what the mc announced, Blaze came on stage and if Im not mistaken so did Zan after that. I didnt catch their act simply because you-know-why.

Approaching midnight then Whitelight took over the limelight.


Much awaited, Whitelight tuning up.


Jamming Botol Biru.


Half way through, his phone rang. Mummy called. No Ma, Im in the middle of a gig and the audience said Hello Auntieee. Hilarious.


Before..


After.
Did you notice the difference?

I was lepaking and smoking outside when I saw there were a bunch of policemen clad in their dark blue uniforms who came around and god-knows-what-they-were-trying-to-do approached the place. Whoever left later after the gig would probably notice this.

So I left with my MPV and to somewhere else.

Bed time. Long day tomorrow as I will be going off elsewhere.
Dont ask.

Yesterday I attended a gig @ Greenhall as well. It was Scream For Peace 5 which consists more of punk bands. The highlight of the gig was perhaps special appearance by One Buck Short and Frequency Canon who hailed all the way from KL. Yes, you perhaps might seen the frontman of One Buck Short somewhere on tv. He's the fella who was auditioning for Channel 8 which took place in the elavator. That fella with big dreamy eyes who dressed up like a burglar and Gary the IT specialist who tried to protect Clarissa-or-whats-her-name. One Buck Short, the band who made their first appearance on a huge stage with other local rock acts was around end of last year on our very own rock festival - Rock The World IV.

As for Frequency Canon, they are one bunch of friendly people, quite down to earth and they are crazy enough to drive to Penang and after the performance, go straight back to KL without staying over a night. Their previous performance was in February during the Asian X-Games which was held in Stadium Putra Bukit Jalil.

[soundbites]
R.U.S.H - Chasing Tipperary