Lousy lectures and lecturers

My group mates and I were busy doing the business project in the discussion room and after that I went to my locker to get my bag and some stuff and suddenly someone called out for me. It was Eugene. God! I haven’t seen him this talkative before. Usually he’s a loner, he study alone, he eats lunch alone and he does whatever alone. Well, he was complaining about how crappy the two lecturers are and I know one of them because she taught me last semester. She is somehow strict and at the same time illogical. She gave us a set of exercise to do and then after one week plus we asked her for the answer so that we could know whether we got it right or wrong and what she did was to humiliate us. She shot back at us saying that during exams she might as well give us the answers because the students are lazy to do the questions? WHAT THE FCUK MAN!!!

Anyhow, Eugene was acting to let me know how her expression was when he went to her office to ask her questions. She acted so unresponsive, expressionless and I’d consider her as a deadpan. Garh. But seriously I went to her office once and I won’t go back to her again. Hah some more say if got any problems we could find her. Oh, *lol* Eugene even cursed and swore here and there. It’s really funny the way he did that.

It is somehow pointless to say something truthful to someone who is as old as your parents and worse still, your own parents. How pathetic can this get? They always compare themselves back in those days when they were young and the youngsters these days. I don’t follow the fashion trend as you can see (apply for those who knows me). Look at me, I’m going to be 19 attending college and still wearing cargo shorts and shirt. Whereas, at this age with this kind of occupation, I should be wearing heels, jeans, slacks or at least pants and those flesh revealing clothes. (Or rather not enough fabric?) I am so not asking for much here. I do live by my budget and all I’m asking for is some appreciation towards me. Hell I don’t go around borrowing money like perhaps those football gamblers and I don’t ask for extra money. Gawd, I even have to spend like fricking 6 bucks per day for breakfast and lunch. Dammit after I’ve calculated it, if I spend approx. 6 bucks per day during weekdays, basically I spend most of my allowance on food.

And how could someone just go around saying that a teenager or rather a human shouldn’t be listening to music or waste money on those music related stuff like cds, gigs and magazines? Gawd, help me. ‘back in our days, we don’t blablabla..’ *yada yada..*

Owggghh, sick. I really regret for sitting in the car listening to all those craps. I felt too lazy to entertain this crap. I just sat there through the whole journey keeping my mouth shut and keep myself busy with looking at lights that pass me by with the speed pf light? Bah, I'm blur..
Okay laziness just kicked in and I’m just sick of writing about it.

And just for the sake of randomness, V is an insincere prick. *Some* of my classmates now knows that I smoke, including that twisted snob. I still ponder why prasanth is still acting weird around me and some of his friends and his brother look at me one kind which I can’t explain. Well, I’m cool but he isn’t. There is another unsolved misery that troubled me just now as I was passing by greenlane. I wonder how putra is doing. Wondering how life is for him now in Russia. I miss his company and his voice. He is someone who can always get away without getting spank for saying ‘hmmmm?’ in a sexy way. I had a great time with him.

A good thing never lasts for a long time. Why eh?

going off to batu feringghi to get some cds. chao chao.

[soundbites]
Ministry of Sound – Chill out session 2001 (disc one)

What is momentary? Love or Hate?

I got the Epson printer today, it’s all new and yeah it’s noisy. Bah, I don’t care as long as I get a printer and get the assignment and stuff printed out then I’m satisfied. Regarding this stuff, I just don’t have the knowledge to fix in this 128 RAM into my cpu, so people, I need assistance!

I felt sore on both of my knees. I felt distracted from nothing. Sometimes I feel like stopping the world around me and enjoy the peacefulness and beauty of this place. The more it evolves, the more nothing that I feel. It’s like I’m becoming numb. Did you notice that I just told you how I feel?
I am sometimes sick of people. At times I am sick of myself.

On a more cheerful note, Jon and Alvin both obtained 7 and 6 A’s respectively. I am proud of them although I secretly hope Jon would get 4 A’s. Why? So that he could continue to study here instead of going somewhere else.

How sad, the people that I can really get along with or rather talk to are slowly going away from me. I felt crappy. Crappy? That is the only word that I can think of which generally speaks for itself. Nahh, nothing bad happen to me today. I get these mood swings keep on changing its direction and style so you can’t really tell if I am alright or otherwise.

That got me thinking of how many people out there who actually really cares and knows me really well. I actually miss Philippe. Nahh, having to say that won’t change a thing in reality. I could only settle for being glad and thankful that he was with me.

Actually I think I miss being loved and now I think I don’t know how to be loved anymore. I couldn’t get in touch with my feminine side or the lovable side of me. All I can be is just being moody, groggy, boyish, depressive and pathetic. I thought I can protect myself from being fallen in love and of which in the end I was hurt kind of scenario, if only I look and act like I am strong. I got so sick of that kind of situation and I thought if anyone could lure me out from being all the stuff that I have mentioned, meaning he is the right one and that he can stand being with Ms. Tough.

I guess I was wrong for having that kind of thinking in the first place.. I know I am a wuss and I am being called a sap by you.

So thank you for reading this post.

The world needs appreciation.

Thank you cowboy caleb for letting me know that Ella Fitzgerald is the next Norah Jones [Correction : Norah Jones is the next Ella Fitzgerald] and thanks to kev for introducing me Carol Kidd and Stacey Kent. I am downloading all of their songs. Thank you.

Wilting On A Sunny Day

The weather is a bitch today. But to comfort myself, I should compare the weather here with Melbourne. I was sweating like a pig. Oink oink! :P

I cant believe that Norah Jones swept away all of the nominated 8 awards. [Note: when I checked the official website for Grammy, I saw only 7 awards that she won. Hmmm..] I cant deny that she is really good in her stuff but don’t the others deserve what they have contributed as well? I guess being nominated is good enough? She performed on stage with her first hit single “Don’t Know Why” and I noticed, or rather anyone who has watched it agree with me that she sounded nervous, even the DJ Terry from Redfm agrees with me. If that doesn’t apply to you, I think you should check her out when she is delivering her thank-you speech while receiving the awards. Her body language told me that.

Vanessa Carlton and John Mayor performed on stage and she sounded a bit nervous as well. Everything they sing and play is faster than the actual song. I guess performing in Madison square is a big thing and they felt honored and overwhelmed for that matter. On the contrary, Sheryl Crow is a babe and she performed a duet with Kid Rock. It’s written there on her guitar strap ‘NO WAR’ and you go girl!!!!

Another thing that I’ve noticed, Erykah Badu isn’t wearing her usual ‘wrapped up clothing’ and the really tall ‘hat’. She was wearing a pair of jeans with erm, some white bondage strap around her left thigh and leg. A black sleeveless tank top with the word whatever prez written on it. Oh, she has this afro hair… uhh, really frizzy and huge. Heheh. Not to mention she was wearing something in between cuffs and bangles thing on both of her wrists. They’re made of metal I think. Wow, really urban looking? Hmmm.

Anyway I just realized that I sounded like some music reporter or some reporter for a teen fashion magazine. Gah! But then again, me, a music reporter… hmmmm. I like that! :P

Dave Grohl, Elvis Costello and Bruce Springsteen did some covers of The Clash to pay tribute to them and they performed well. The front man of Coldplay really poured his heart out when they performed Politics with the symphony orchestra of San Francisco under the conduct of Michael K. Man. No Doubt’s Gwen Stefani attended the show with Bush’s front man, Gavin smth and No Doubt undoubtedly delivered their best music with urban DIY fashion and style.

Eminem performed the theme for the movie 8 mile and boy he sure wows the crowd. Or at least myself. It was really awesome, he wowed me with his non-stop rapping and I thought rappers can only rap in records because of the help of sound engineering. He’s good. He sounded really calm and cool and I like that. But just that he’s a bit arrogant at times but other than that, he’s a real good rapper. I like his voice.

The Grammy also paid tribute to the Gibb brothers, especially to Morris Gibb on his parting. His son was asked to go on stage to receive the award and say a few words. It was a really touching moment.

Okay even I have Wednesday off, it will be doom’s day for me. Ayyyaya! Pathetically I couldn’t pay attention in class for the past two days. I was nicely enjoying the jelly beans that Hsin bought for me from Auz and there are always distraction around me. Sigh. I really need to catch up on some stuff. Oh and I definitely catch things up with Pemmy. I didn’t see him for some time and I actually missed seeing him. He just came back from India. I shall see him in college in the days to come.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

To dear Sami,

Here goes the virtual hugs that I promised you. Just too bad that they aint for real. Just to make you feel better.
*huggies* *huggies* *huggies* *huggies* *huggies* *huggies* *huggies* *huggies*

You poor baby, I really hope that you will get better soon.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

erm, I have no idea what happened to Colin, suddenly I posted up my pictures and he stopped visiting my site and whenever I see him online, he wouldn’t say hi and I noticed his tone is totally different from the one before this. Quote from one sms which he sent me : “Maybe we have much to talk about? Heh. Say hi to your mom for me, Haha.” Okay, ignore the last part but he agreed with me that we want to talk to each other a lot when I was out to get some stuff with my mother. He was luring me to go online and then send him my pictures. I found him quite interesting because he just got his lower lip pierced and he was asking some advice on the aftercare in his tagboard and I just so happened to stumbled upon his site and we became friends from there. (or at least I thought so)

I have nothing to say actually, I’m just really curious what really happened.

Anyhow I know that he has got a link to me and some of his friends or site members might just stumble across my site and notice this entry but what the heck. I’m not up to censorship for whatever that I want to say here. oh and I've just added some rate this site thingy provided by him. Hahah!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Correction : this is the sequence that i have confirmed with my friend. so here is the real sequence again. :)
1 - Rush
2 - Couple
3 - Sgt. Weener's Arms
4 - Seven Collar T-Shirt
5 - Damn Dirty Apes
6 - Zero Gravity (The Wreck's project band.)
7 - Blind Tribe

Death of Optimus Prime



the gig at Actor's Studio Greenhall is fucking awesome! got me all hyped up and i had a good time. here was the line up..

1 - Rush
2 - Couple
3 - Sgt. Weener's Arms
4 - Seven Collar T-Shirt
5 - Damn Dirty Apes
6 - Blind Tribe
7 - Zero Gravity

seven collar t-shirt and damn dirty apes definitely stole the show! they were awesome!! the place is really small and at first we were sitting down. but as the place is starting to get crowded, we have to stand up. the last two bands are heavy metal bands. there were moshpit definitely. nahh i was feeling too worn out from the heat and the crowd, so i went out and lit up some fags. this is when i get to talk to the bassist of seven collar t-shirt. yay! he still remembers me from the previous gig that i went to which was the one at gurney, the xfresh music festival 2002 last september. very.. VERY down to earth. hah not to mention that he's a lil shy although he did mention that my name is kewt. hahah. O_o

anyways ive included myself in DDA's mailing list, checked out SCTS, got the burned cds from alvin, bought myself a ODIUM demo, got myself a 128 RAM, settled my old printer and got a new one and hmmm... im so fricking tired now.

i'll post this thingy up so that i could get a proper sleep and i got class tmr. darn it.
Cheers people! :)

oh and to Hsin, have a safe journey home! I'm gonna miss your company man.. *huggies*

Withered

I haven’t had a proper meal since yesterday and just now after one whole day of empty stomach (..uh, not exactly, I had a pack of Cheese roller coasters) and when dinner came, I was reluctant to have it cuz I just don’t have the appetite but heck, I had Nasi Kandar.. like a WHOLE lot!! No, nooo.. I do like it but heck I am still full and I’m feeling like I have already put on pounds for that matter! lolz.

Surprisingly since yesterday evening, I didn’t have anything to eat except for water and some wafers, I didn’t feel hungry at all until later in the evening today. Not to mention that, I was out dancing the night before this. Probably is the chivas? Or maybe it’s the energy that was kept in me for a long time? I think it’s the latter cuz I was definitely hyped up yesterday when I heard some dance music playing.

My fingers still smell a wee bit like curry. Heheh. The post-clubbing syndrome didn’t get to me totally. Not so drag-gy but it is better this way and I like it. Probably is the company that I was with. Girl’s night out! I should do this more often.

Today I was feeling a slight wrench in myself. I didn’t get enough of sleep that’s why! My pathetic cousin sister ‘accidentally’ (yah right! *roll eyes*) woke me up this morning and leaving me restlessly tossing and turning to go back to sleep but to no avail. It took me almost an hour plus to pull myself out of bed and to take my shower. I can’t remember what I did for the 4 hours after that but I know that I fell asleep on my bed with a position that is totally opposite from the one that I usually sleep in. weird.

Just when I was about to fall asleep, my cousin sister came back from going to some car showrooms to enquire some information. She practically distracts me whenever I want to go to sleep. How annoying. Next, when I finally fell asleep, this time my used-to-be-neighbor-friend came by my house. Gosh, this is the second time this happened to me. The first time was when he came by in the morning to ask for camera and I just have to keep on rubbing my eyes to stay awake to talk to him. We spent the next two hours talking. Dammit. That’s supposed to be my sleeping time. Urrrrrhh.

By the way, I’m starting to get sick of this layout and I’m not doing anything about it. Just like today, there *was* a gig (read: Independent Day’s Out) in the afternoon at Butterworth but then I was doing all these stupid things like staying awake, chit chatting and sleeping which seems to be a waste of time. I wonder how Eugene did for the gig and the band itself.

Tomorrow, the Actor’s Studio Greenhall is having another gig and I’m going! Yaaaayy!

This is freaky.

Feeling so lonely. I realised that I've made a mistake. I just cant get you out of my head. The times we had together, your hair, accident nose, the thing you do with your lips. Cant forget you..

Precisely 1:36:04pm, this sms was sent to me by K. I was in the library discussing some business project with my fellow course mates and this got me all feeling triumphant.. but then again the feeling didnt last for long. I left the sms in my cellphone so that I could make it as a proof. I am not proud or anything. I just feel troubled because I am not convince of anything that is written or say by him. Im not sure if I should trust him anymore. I have doubts basically. Is he for real? I asked myself and I just wouldnt dare to even think about it. I would avoid the question if I were asked.

So tell me what you think about this whole thing?

Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

How can you see into my eyes
like open doors.
Leading you down into my core
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul
my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home.

[Chorus]
Wake me up.
Wake me up inside.
I can't wake up.
Wake me up inside.
Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Wake me up.
Bid my blood to run.
I can't wake up.
Before I come undone.
Save me.
Save me from the nothing I've become.

Now that I know what I'm without
you can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.
Bring me to life.

Frozen inside without your touch,
without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.

All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.

Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul

Don't let me die here
There must be something wrong.
Bring me to life.

[Chorus]

Bring me to life.
I've been living a lie
There's nothing inside.

Bring me to life

Crappy day..

I feel the anger in me growing as I picked a fight with someone in the family. It got worse when I got online and chatted with a few friends. I was so unnatural. I simply have no idea what is the cause of it. There are so many things in my head right now and I just feel like letting it out. Why can't anyone or someone who is willing to listen to me?

I am not convince that people do gives a shit about me. And why is it some people still thinks that I do give a damn about him & her? Yet I am so convinced that people out there are a bunch of materialistic bastards.

And I have been so forgetful today. I feel guilty for slacking off. I forgot to take a 700+ pages book from the photostate guy. I forgot to do laundry. I forgot to read my case study. I forgot about the mission statement. I forgot to return a book today. I forgot to find out about Max Weber. and what did I do for the whole day? I watched Tarzan and Jane. sheesh. Pathetic. I even wrote some poems for a friend and colored the pages with color pencils in her autograph book.

I still thinks that some people avoid me by choice. Where is a best friend's status when you have a gf/bf? Why is the treatment different? Why cant people just explain? Why cant people be true to their feelings? Why did I mistaken my water bottle for the nail polish remover bottle? Why does the vodka that I had yesterday smells like nail polish remover?

Owh. crap. Need to mellow down a bit. I need sleep.

Cravings and sleep.

I just woke up half an hour ago and I'm going back to sleep. I still feel placid. urgh, pathetic.

Will have to study for a bit in the afternoon. I miss sushi. I miss pizza. I miss being hugged.

Goodbye to the people going back to Auz or perhaps already in Auz.

March 20th is Steak & Blowjob Day?

Gag me. Slap me. Hit me. Whack me. Let me be.

I feel placid now. Not to mention I started college last Tuesday and I’m feeling the pressure already. This is crappy. I feel crappy. Maybe too much grey crayons. Maybe it’s the vodka. Maybe it’s the air. Maybe I’m just tired and I need sleep.

I talked to Jasdev just now. He’s feeling crappy as well. Why is everyone feeling crappy? Sigh.

Wednesday off. Yeehaw!

Sometimes I just feel like an outcast. In fact, I feel like an outcast now.
I feel like I’m being treated like a piece of shit, like I have no dignity. I feel really bad now.

Sorry I just wasted your time for reading this pathetic entry. I feel sorry for my self pitiness. I feel sorry for myself. sometimes I have self-esteem problems. I'm having too little of it.

I need to get some sleep.

Ashtray

The day started off with a bit of an argument which I was forced to swallow whatever that I was about to say. Yay! And I made a grand entrance for my first class today. Later of the day I had a craving for a grey crayon and I found out that SA2 now provide us with the oil tank/tin which was cut into half and painted black on the outside while inside is filled with erm, sand? So overall, what do you call that eh?

Maybe I’m being self conscious or being low self-esteem but I just have the feeling of people getting away from me whenever they see me and many eyes are watching me. For example, people think that I’m ugly therefore whenever someone new who I feel comfortable talking with suddenly try to avoid me after having to send them my pic or having to meet up with me.

I may not be pretty or rich to be wearing ripped off skirt or sheer blouse which costs more than its actual cost and thinking that that’s fashion. Or maybe wearing high heels which made sounds of a pair of ‘ka kiak’(wooden clog). Or maybe have a pretty face, long nails, long straighten hair and model body to show off to people like me who are writing all these stuff here.

On the other hand, I’m just a modest girl wearing a t-shirt and a cargo shorts which was bought by my own allowance because cargo shorts rocks by having lots of pockets so that I don’t have to waste money on buying bags. Sneakers made easy for my movements to walk, run and skip. I have a big round face that is not badly injured from running over by a truck when puberty struck, short nails to make things easy for me when holding a pen or even holding up a fist, plain black long hair and a body which still have the curves and looks like a decent body with bits and pieces of excessive cholesterol.

So just look at me with all the curiosity why I am not a fashion victim cuz I choose not to and I choose comfort over being in fashion. Wonder away why I am not like other girls cuz I am not and I have my own way of making an impression instead of being materialistic and being a fashion victim. I feel sorry for those people who just can’t live by their standards and choose to be a victim of commercialization.

Good Charlotte - Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous
Always see it on TV
Or read it in the magazines
Celebrities who want sympathy
All they do is piss and moan
Inside the Rolling Stone
Talkin' about
How hard life can be

[Chorus]
I'd like to see them spend a week
Living life out on the streets
I don't think they would survive
If they could spend a day or two
Walking in someone else's shoes
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall
They would fall
Life styles of the rich and the famous
They're always complainin', always complainin'
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them

Did you no if you were famous you could kill your wife
And there's no such thing as 25 to life
As long as you got the cash to pay for Cochran
Did you know if you were caught
And you were smokin' crack
McDonalds wouldn't even wanna take you back
You could always just run for mayor of D.C.
[Chorus]

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous
We'll take clothes, cash, cars, and homes
Just stop complainin'
Life styles of the rich and famous
Life styles of the rich and famous
Life styles of the rich and famous




[soundbites]
Govinda – In Through Time
Peshay - Switch

Hi. I’m an internet junkie. I have no life.

Urgh. I have been online for more than 3 hours and I’m only using a darn 56k modem dial-up. Humph, if it wasn’t for Colin, I’d be offline maybe like an hour ago! :P “oh, mommy! Why don’t you let me use broadband?!! Sigh.“ and my mom is going to screw me yet again for the bills. Heheh, I just cant help it and I don’t know how to coax my mom to let me use broadband. Being the only one in the house who goes online won’t help either.

Oh, look at the time right now, it’s almost 4.30pm and I’m still in the house, I guess I won’t be going to get the purse by today because later the night mom will be having this potluck thingy going on in the house. So now is a good time for me to update my blog.

Yesterday night, I have finished up more than half the canister of Pringles already! I just love Pringles. Hehehehe.
I found out songs from Govinda are really nice. {Note: this is not applicable to all of the people out there, only certain people. So don’t come telling me that Govinda sucks and stuff.} Im not sure if it’s a band or a one man show or anything. I just like the songs. One friend of mine who knew that I’m into manson and he told me that manson took out one of his ribs so that he could give himself a blowjob and while I am being the manson-fan, don’t know about that. My point is, I just like their music and I don’t care what they do in their personal life. Anyway Govinda is very mind-calming and it’s a twist of Indian instrumentals and western culture. It’s indeed very special.

It seems that my friends are all dead. I haven’t done any socialization for a long time and the same goes to clubbing. On a brighter note, I met Colin, who is a total scorpio cutie from mars. Abhi, the rocker/wanker from India, thank god he’s still alive. Sami, the mama mia with his brand new Corvette SS Camero and thick lips. Surfed other people’s blogs, downloading songs, browsing thru galleries of tattoos and piercings, get educated from Colin and etcetera. The weekend pretty much evolved around internet.

My comment’s host is still down and it’s constantly down anyway. So, im thinking of getting a new host for my comments page.

Due to special request, I’m going to tell what happened between me, K and biatch. So here goes… Enjoy my tale of sadness... heheh.


Clarifications: me and K were dating each other at that time.
The Scoop: Biatch is rich. 3000 bucks per month for her allowance and she swaps card for her petrol. She drives a bmw523(Correction: BMW318) and her mom owns a bmw 3 series.
K is a sweet-talker and freeloader. I know cuz I was dating him, remember? Rumour has it that he’s a player but I choose to be in denial at that time.

One fine Friday, K called me several times to ask me to go to this club called ss. I was reluctant to go cuz I don’t feel like it. Eventually, he managed to coax me. That night, I went ss with biatch and everything went fine. We danced and we are all sober. After the last call, K insisted on going to this other club called orange. And so we did. There, things started to get off hand.
You know what happened?

K and biatch started to dance together and subsequently they were dirty dancing and things got all hot and steamy between them and they kissed! Not just ordinary kissing.. French kissing!!! Not just for a brief moment but for almost an hour!!! I was there. It all happened in front of me. Right in front of me, with my presence. Finally we got home like nothing had happened while deep down inside I was very hurt and tormented. Both could have resisted but nah, it didn’t happen.

Saturday afternoon, biatch called me. She started to say things that gave me ideas of she liking K. I couldn’t take it anymore and I confronted her. I told her the whole story. I told her that at that time K and I are dating each other. I was delighted that she offered her helping hand to pakat with me and tried to find out what K is trying to pull.

On Sunday, they are already together as an item. Holding hands, hugging each other and going to the movies together. Things happen SO fast that I was taken back by the betrayal and pain. They didn’t even confront me or anything. She told me lies and he told me lies.
On the other occasion, she went to Auz for her vacation and he called me and miss called me several times. He even dropped by my place a day before she came back from Auz.

Now in college, she talks to me like nothing happened and obviously I sense the fakeness there. While K still miss called me once in a blue moon. I couldn’t be bothered.

This thing still bothers me sometimes. That sort of incident gave me a big impact on my perspective towards people and life these days. I’m becoming anti-social.

Oh and due to special request. I’m posting some pictures of me and one of the guys that I was drolling at. Here.


This is me, trying to look like the cute character on my shirt which happens to be my fav shirt! Taken place in one of the ‘ghostly’ lecturer rooms of my college.


This is me and Eugene. He got really good drumming skills. Check out his tongue piercing. Sorry abt the poor quality tho. I got this pic scanned.


This is the Sami that I was talking about from UAE. Awwww! Although he is *ahem* ‘posing’, but still he looks really uhm, attractive. He should be a model!! XD

[soundbites]
George Benson – Lately
Govinda – Quintessence of Dust

Just an ordinary day with wonders in the air..

It started raining since 3 o’clock just now and it feels good.
Im sucking a pineapple flavoured lollipop right now and that made me happy inside. Not to mention that it still drizzles outside, really made me feel calm and happy. I have no complains.

I chatted with Sami for quite some time just now and for heaven’s sake, he’s god sent! He sent me loads of his pictures and I sent him three of mine which looked really crappy. His car is a really beautiful baby.. have a look at it!
*ahemmm*



errr.. you guys have any idea what car is this? He told me but I forgot! lolz. Care to enlighten me?

Why doesn’t god send me these two men that I was drooling just now or maybe either one of them to me for Valentine’s Day huh? Why!!! sigh.

Will be going out for some shopping with mom tomorrow hopefully and get myself a decent purse. I’ve been using this cotton-made Radioactive purse for 2 years now I think. Im so broke now, that’s why I have to take my mom along so that she could pay for me.. hehehe. But she insisted that she pay half. Awwww! Two One of my friends still owe me cash though, overall rm150 rm100. hmm shucks.

[soundbites]
Norah Jones – Shoot The Moon
Sigur Ros – Svefn-G-Englar

*jaw dropped* *heart pumping fast*

currently Im drooling over two guys...

they are are FRICKING HOTtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt~!!!!!!

I shall have them revealed.. heheh. In the mean time, if you'll excuse me, I shall go back and drool about them...
Whoooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*evil grins*

Deee Big Kahuna!!

Hello everybody, I’m Likki. I’m YSL – Young, Single and Available. It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re sitting there reading my blog? Come over here you, let’s get it on. Let’s hook up!

True to the fact that I’m YSL but heck I’m not that desperate lah. Besides, I will be looking for a long time, so no point for being desperate and get the wrong one in the end.

Even though St. Valentine fought for the right thing and succeeded for that matter, but then in the world today, it’s all about commercialization. Everything is so commercialized these days. Yes, yes… profits and benefits. It’s all about economics.

Okay, I got to admit, too much econs. I’m all dizzy.

Look, it’s Valentines and I’m pms-ing. I bump into biatch for three times in a row yesterday. I was ditched and betrayed for several times. I still fancy LO and Eugene’s lovely eyes. See? Nothing changed right? So what is this fuss all about?

Another confession, I have the urgency to call Kel. Geewees, try to shake off that idea. This is definitely not a day for the single people out there to be sad.

Anyways seeing that the two pool tables have been shifted or maybe it’s the growing population of my college, the canteen is always packed which indirectly restricted me from fagging in college. Aiyo. People have urges to satisfy you know. I only get to enjoy the testament of fagdom after I got home.

I think I’m starting to loose my mind because I just have no idea what to write here.

First thing in the morning, Jas sms-ed me to wish me. Hah.

I need to get an early sleep. I have addiction to fagdom. I feel womanly. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Happy Welentiins!

IT'S SHOWTIME!
A MUST SEE GIG in Penang! Featuring the recent AIM award winner LOVE ME BUTCH, the highly acclaimed SEVEN COLLAR T-SHIRT, post-rockers SGT. WEENER’S ARMS and DAMNED DIRTY APES. Be part of the movement to revive the indie music scene in the little island. For details, contact 012 551 2085.
Date: 23 February @ 3.00pm
Venue: The Actors Studio Greenhall
Price: Admission by Donation: RM 15

Support local music scene!! Don’t hesitate to enquire me!

[soundbites]
Faithless – One Step Too Far
Norah Jones – Painter Song & One Flight Down

Opinions needed

Im thinking of starting a new blog or smth. Anyhoos fill in the blank for me people.
http://www.______.blogspot.com

Ideas are much appreciated. Thanks! :)

Just another rainy day..

While I was online yesterday night, two of my close friends came to my house yesterday without any notice at all. Chit chatted for a bit and then went out on a joy ride in a manual car up from Batu Feringghi beach to town area. Actually saw V in front of SS, claimed by my friend and when we went for the second round, he couldn’t be seen. Oh, what the heck, like I care! We even had a jolly good time trying to open up a bottle of Heineken by using our hands with a piece of cloth. ARGH! I got a cut on my index and middle finger for that matter.

Had the day off and how did I spend it?
I was sitting down pointlessly in my room and the ultimate bad habit of mine kicked in while I was listening to Lo’s first album which I got it back couple of days ago. No idea? I was biting my nails. Doh.. Really baaaaaaadd.

I was stuck like that for an hour and I just couldn’t get myself together or have the motivation to move my arse. Eventually I shuffled the place for a bit and shifted the two modules that I got yesterday to hard-cover files. I did feel like decorating the cover but then again, bad habits die hard. Yes, laziness.

Gee, now you know two of my many bad habits. Damn.

The computer/cd place is still a mess. Cds, covers, mags, diskettes, papers and two packs of fags are still lying here. Next, my high school friend called me up and we talked for almost an hour. It’s always nice to hear news from an old friend. She’s hooked up for almost half a year and I’m glad that she is still hooked up. Of course a sudden phone call will cost you something, she wants me to find out the price for some stuff. Besides that, it’s really nice to hear from her.

It was cloudy and it rained for a little yesterday night. It feels so nice. Currently, the wind is blowing strongly and the sound of wind chimes can be heard from where I type this. My hair is dancing and my skin feels subtle. My throat feels dry. *turn off*

Oh well, I think it will rain soon, just like yesterday.

I actually miss Alvin and co.’s company. Oh lookie, three more days to v-day.

Great. It’s raining now. Wheeeeeeeeee~ dance in the rain. :)

[soundbites]
Govinda – Falling From Grace
Delirium - Temptation

Lifestyle of the rich and the famous

this is just another day that i dont quite feel like blogging. and yes, random thoughts again if you may.....

back in college. lots of new faces. people. people. people. and more people. two classes. both lecturers have taught us the previous semester so everything were pretty much sorted out. had my student id renewed. paid my semester fees. renewed my locker. erm, nothing much. just another day spent in college with lotsa fancy people.

i actually got tired and feel asleep when i was waiting for my mom to settle her stuff. paid and settled driving shits. (im so embarassed to say this, sigh!) went celcom and settle the sim card thingy. when i got back, i straight hit the sack and slept for an hour and then took my shower... oh and i think my bro is against me to go auz to study?

i found one article on Haze. interesting, interesting. he got his nose and lips pierced like mine. goodie jolly good.

have wednesday off. yay~ gonna do some revision and check out for some information on the net. believe it or not i have totally forgotten about the four functions of management! ARGH. not good.

here's the deal again.

Independent Day's Out
Date: 22nd February 2003
Venue: Zefer Bay, Megamall, Seberang Prai, Penang.
Time: 1.00 p.m. – 6.00 p.m.
Ticket: RM 20 (inclusive of a soft drink)
Bands: Koffin Kanser, Pick Cell, The Wreck, Big Head, Gaugepit, Prosak, Promulgate, Drukigenda
For info, please contact Duan at 012-5048778
No weapons. No sexual activities. No drugs. Just Rock n’ Roll

hey guys! support and go for the gig if possible.

[soundbites]
Haze - Changes (loving it and looping it.)
Faithless - Muhammed Ali, One Step Too Far

grounded from anger in flames

an extention was made to use my mom's phone. yeah happy happy.

well, erm gonna make this a really brief post and write anything randomly.

went back college today. owh! people people.. and one of those people includes the fricking biatch. and yeah my buddy agrees that both her boobies were asking the men out there to talk to them. she laughed but then hell, its true. i dislike her. this is my fricking first time to actually hate someone until that kind of level and actually fcuking pretend that nothing went wrong and still say hi and adknowledge her. i feel it in my soul that the tingle is telling me that i want to yell out of my lungs that i hate her and that i dont want her as a friend and take revenge. revenge is sweet i hear you say? i havent tried it yet cuz im always the really nice girl. okay self praise is self disgrace? fuck you. ask anyone that knows me, they'd say im NIZE.

the fact is with some other things that upset me contributes to my current tone. see there is no capitals in this entry. i fcuking hate her. everybody now is my enemy. anyone stands in my way is as ass. fuck boyfriends. fcuk the nice-ness in me. no more ms. nice. i despise this kind of stuckup-ness. i despise being a two face sonavabich.

college is full of dressy people as usual. or mebbe they think that i am not grown up. fcuk them.
whats so fricking wrong in wearing cargo shorts and sneakers?

on the brighter note, i saw someone who's new to our college who looks like LO! dammit. there's smth about him that looks like Lo. probably his eyes. dreamy eyes... heh you should be expecting the word 'drool' over here maybe? well i am pissed now that i cant bring myself to drool right this moment. maybe the next time when i bump into him in college.

my tool cd and bara compilation is still with valent. dammmit.

and i dont fcuking get it why when you call out for someone who's older than you who just cant adknowledge you with a fricking response. what is this? age difference seems to be the issue?

and oh i just hate it when people ditch me. i need to get a pair of new sneakers.

now will you excuse me, i need a fag to mellow me down DAMN people, DAMN. Cheers.

[soundbites]
OST - The Scorpion King

Reincarnation? *roll eyes*

According to the previous entry, I wrote 10am but now it's around 9am or 9.30am that I got up for the past two mornings. and boy was I feeling excited about using my mom's new phone, which is a Samsung True-i. The one and only phone that I've always dream about. Damn, it feels good. Made me feel superior. haha.

Just the other day I have finally finished looking at the whole gallery of tribal tattoos which consists of 113 pages of 1808 pictures. Actually found a few cool ones. and I think I have turned into an Internet junkie. Im so fricking bored these days and all of my usual friends seems to be all dead.

Whenever I think of tattoos, I think of K. dammit. I even have the urgency to call him. blahh. bloody hell. I did ask my mom for advice abt the whole K thing and after she gave me her close-to-full-explaination advice, I was like, what is this man? I am asking my mom for this kind of advice? Fcuk. see how dead I am? I mean I am SO bored out that it led me to ask me mom for advice. gosh. I'm such a wuss.

While I was looking thru the many pictures of tribal tattoos, Sami, the mamamia was online.. heheh. Talked to him for a while, as usual, he has to go off and do some shits. I was telling Hsin that he's the type that said he'd call but then did not in the end. such big liars. Prolly be giving some really Lame excuses like, 'it's a long story, i've been to shits..', 'i lost my phone so i couldnt get hold of you..', 'i was REALLY busy and couldnt keep up with anyone..', blablabla yknow shits like that. it just gets on my nerves. oh and the first time Hsin saw his picture, she went "whoahhhhh.. momma!!!!!!!!" yeah yeah, I know, he got realy THICK lips. Hmmm sexy. ;)

We just love to drool over guys. It's a girl thing. heheh. Hsin, Siu Choon looks SO different from the HK version of Siu Choon.. lol.

Just the day before yesterday, I went out with Jon. such real sweetie he is. As usual, we went to Hillside - burger place, real fun talking to him and believe it or not that was the very first time that both of us actually hang out alone. *shrug* I didnt just say that out loud, did I? Owh, anyway he's just really funny. Hilarious that is. He likes John Mayor, the way he do his thing on his guitar. I couldnt agree more. and he got real tiny eyes!!!

I started to miss my Cake and His Infernal Majesty cds. Jon and I both like Cake a lot.. we even sang 'you're never there.. you're never there.. you're never ever, ever, ever there!' *guitar/bass riffs* Neat.

I watched Jerry Maguire yesterday. The first time I watched it years back with my sister in the cinema. Yikes! anyway, it's some sort of like, inspiration movie I think. It's plain entertainment. A twist of romance, inspiration, reality and morale values.

I was talking to my mom yesterday about how life is so unfair to my brother and I got emotional. Told you I am a wuss!! :P she understood what I was telling I guess and then she got real tired. next, she mummbled smth like "dont eat up all the murukus" or smth to do with the murukus.. she's weird. hahah!!

I got along with ppl around the house these two days, no wait, actully it's just my mom and cousin sister. hah.
I'll have to admit, I feel peace and at ease. You know what else feels good? It's when your hair is having a good hair day, how it smells like, how it sways from side to side when you walk, how it falls right on place on your shoulders and how straight it is. It really boost your self esteem. Dont believe me? Well, you can always take it from someone who've been there... someone, like ME! :P

by the way, I'm SO bored out.

*silence*

I'M USING A FRICKING SAMSUNG TRUE-I! YOU HEAR ME?? SAMSUNG TRUE-I...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MmmMuUuuaAaaaAaahHHaHhhhhHHhhhhh *evil grin*

Im really bored.

oh, going back college tmr. End of holidays. I miss clubbing. I miss having plain clean fun. boohoohooo....

[soundbites]
Ministry of Sound - Chill out Session 2001, Disc One

I Am

Which tarot card are you?

Spiritual enlightenment, inner illumination, hidden power. Link between seen and unseen. Balance of positive and negative forces. Receptivity. Unseen guidance.
A young woman sits on a throne holding a scroll labeled "Tora" meaning "law." On her breast is the sign of the meeting of heaven and earth, the Maltese cross. Her crown is the full orb supported by horns, the crown ofthe Mother Goddess Isis, who rules all things changeable, shown by the moon at her feet. Her power, upon which her throne rests, derives from the creative principle of duality, shown by the two pillars of light and darkness. To those who know and love her she dispenses the sweet fruit of the world itself, symbolized by the pomegranites.

Memang Karma lah tuh

Nowadays, I couldnt sleep after the clock strikes 10 am. It's like smth called on me. And once I got up, first thing I'll do is to switch on my computer.

As the last conversation between me and Jas was taken place online. We were talking about the cause of my depression. He asked me why was I telling him that I am depressed. sigh. He doesn't seem to understand what I was talking about, basically he didn't get my point. I was feeling restless and he kept asking me to explain myself.

And so I did. I asked him about his opinion on the whole K thing. You know it's really pointless telling him, I was telling myself that. At this time he told me that both of them already broke up. That caught me off guard for a while there. I wasn't feeling happy nor sad but I guess it's just weird. I need explainations. He heard the news from Charlie and the rest of the gang and I wouldnt say that it is a very reliable source.

Jas said guilty as charged, don't fcuking care abt what other ppl think cuz my feelings are the ones that got dented. He added that he knew that I was hiding my feelings, if I really want to confront them just go ahead. oh and she did ask about me and Jas think that she dont really want to hurt me. My response will be if she really does care about me, she wouldnt even hurt me in the first place. I seriously think that I am being a pain in the arse for Jas. Why he even bothered to go online in the first place if he know that typing is one of the chores that you have to do.

It's like I want to avoid this whole thing. I want to forget that I know him or her. I dont want to get hurt. I want to avoid because I dont know how to take it. Im confused.

"this, like the passing water in the mill, shall pass away.."

yeah, Im letting it pass alright.

**************************************************************

Weird. I was looking at the small mountain near my house and it's getting smaller and smaller the more I look at it! WEIRD.

X-Fresh is looking for new people to help in their growth. I'm thinking about applying for the Marketing & Research Division. But it's so troublesome thinking that you have to do these.
1. A well written comprehensive profile (CV/Resume)
2. A few recent pictures/photographs of yourself
3. Previous Web/Art/Design work (for Web/Graphic positions)
4. A 100 word essay on your expectations at Xfresh
5. TOP 10 Reasons "Why I stand-out amongst the rest!"

Hmmmm..

oh I found this somewhere at someone's blog and it's really interesting.. check it out.



[soundbites]
Audioslave - Gasoline
Mudvayne - Death Blooms

Bleeding Heart

*burp*

it smells like curry.

I'm so stuffed with food these days and I can feel my stomach is expanding. Eek!

just yesterday night I was telling Hsin that I was feeling hungry because I skipped dinner. I thought of maccoroni cheese! pizzas! mcd! dome's chicken pie! roti canai! whoah, we were drolling over imaginary food. damn. I got offline and then cooked myself maggie mee with fishballs, meatballs, sotongballs, veggie and crabsticks! oh and i added chili source to spice things up. heheheh.. I went to bed with a full stomach.. really stuffed.

Maxis is having some problem these days.

**************************************************************

I was talking to Miranda just now. She was asking me to be a sport about the whole K and biatch thing. I protested that she betrayed my trust for twice the time and I just dont think that I can forgive someone just like that seeing that I think friendship is more important thatn the whole gf/bf relationship. I mean how could someone pretend that nothing had happened while I am the one who got stabbed from behind and nonetheless from a friend. I am feeling the worst of all. wound. scar. bloodclot. bruise. bleeding. betrayal. how could she? is this what you call it - friends?

I think I need some time to forgive. Surely, I'm thinking twice.

Miranda said that there's no point of building up the hatred against her, I should show them who is the matured chick and not that 'small gas'. I should be sporting and open minded about it. Sigh. I dont know.

and I just dont know how to face them once Im back in college. My friends told me that he was with her in college both holding hands and all for several times. The more I think about it, my eyes cant stop feeling sore, my heart cant stop feeling bitter, the sourness in my throat, my heart feels like a bloodclot that was picked at, it feels like I am in a wreckage that nobody noticed and being left there to deteriorate for couple of days.

This is the reason why I am not looking forward to college sometimes and also the reason why I did not put kdu in my list of college where I can obtain my degree. I want to dodge and avoid bumping into them. I dont want to be hurt and I dont intend to get hurt again.

I'm looping Sarah Mclachlan's Angel. It got stuck to my head now, it describes exactly what I am feeling right now.

**************************************************************

So far I am not in the hype of valentine's day. I never was. I dont fuss around about it but of course how would someone refuse a romantic candlelight dinner for two by the beach? hah. believe it or not. I have two perfect places for that matter. Just that I'm short of date. I even have the perfect gift idea stuck with me for like, 5 years now. I never got the chance to celebrate it with Philippe though. It was long gone before the arrival of v-day.

Well I suppose I did something interesting for v-day. I sent off cards to two friends. It was a friendly v-day card. Nothing special. But I'd say it's cool to let the people know that you appreciate them as friends. that's good enough. oh yeah, on that day, it's always Valent's bday. hence, thats how he got his name anyway. the next day will be Hsin's bday. heh double joy for that lovely girl.

Friends sometimes can be depressing. As usual, I'm always with depression and boredom. They never go away. It's always been there and it will be there in the near future. Sometimes I think I should expect less to feel better. But tell me, don't you expect a response or a reply to your already sent out sms? May it be good response or bad response, it is still A response, dammit.

I think you are like reading some really sad stories of mine here. Can't help but to think that I'm a sap huh? Stories of the hopeless loser. heh.

[soundbites]
Mogwai - Take Me Somewhere Nice
Cokelat - Untuk Bintang

David. 0125633779. Kelvin. 0164565592. Who? Pranksters.

I have been getting prank calls. He who miss called me 4 in the morning and then again called me in the afternoon while I was sleeping and he kept quiet. Both incidents caused me to be groggy. I have no god damn patience when it comes to this. I dislike the idea of some buster distributing my numbers while I have no fricking idea who he is.

I advertised myself in the newspaper, that's how he got my number. Lies. Liars.

I told him off by saying that I seriously think that this is a prank and he got the wrong number. The last sms I got was 'What you wearing now?'. What the fcuk is this man. I didn't reply, instead I got up and take my shower.

ARGH. I would really like him to have a piece of my mind. Whenever he calls, he'd keep quiet. What is this? I'm sure if you really want to be friends you would talk.

I dont fcuking know him.

Another incident where some guy from selangor msged me thru icq and then being all desperate about girls. He asked me to teach him the skills to court a girl. How desperate is that? He doesn't understand the word 'desperate'. aiyoh! He who can't even hold a casual conversation is trying to court a girl? and why he wants to do that is because he doesn't have a gf.

hah. I picked a fight with him. it was fun. yay.

Darren : can u teach me how 2 chase girl

Me : why do u need that for?

Darren : i don have girl fren loh!!

Me : why are u desperate man... sheesh

Darren : y?

Me : you sounded freaking desperate thats why.

Darren : desperate is?

Me : fcuk u dont even understand the word desperate. blargh.

Darren : mother fucker

Me : oh look whos talking. ha.

Darren : go to hell lah

Me : why thank you. its the best place in town. thanks!

Me : desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate! desperate!

Usual Missed Calls..

Why isn't my phone been ringing? Actually it did but it was from either mom or my sis. Oh and my bro never calls because he doesn't even have my number. I'm so honoured.

hah. Kel is the one who miss called me while I was listening to 3eb and stretching away..

Why hasn't he get off me? What's up with him? He wants to be friends now or does he wants to be like used to be? Or maybe contrary to all those, and be a playa.

Yippie. I'm singing Karma again..... By the way, Bahasa Indonesia and Bahasa Malaysia seems so different but I do get the meaning. :)
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Haloscan is still having problems. My comments page is not working and the same goes to my archives. Damn I need help. Anyone?

Avoidance by chance

Currently sucking an apple flavoured lollipop and listening to Honesty by Zwan..

Currently Haloscan is having a problem. the lighting here seems to have a problem too. my life seems to have a problem. that includes the archives, this blog and my own emotions.

you know I think I should feel happy sometimes.. for a change.

sometimes I try to shut people out. sometimes I want people to gimme attention. actually I rarely shut people out unless they are really a pain in the neck. I dont mean to.

I have no particular reason for not going to dinner. I just feel antisocial a bit. although I feel bored but I dont feel like going out.. I guess it's just one of those mellow days that you feel you need to be by yourself and be alone for a while to cool off or smth. To get away from the hustle bustle and usual crowds, that's all.

picking a fight with me at a time like this is not good.

Everything is Wonderful now..

Life has gone back to it's normal phase and revolving around me with a normal speed again. Enjoying itself while knocking at me causing dark clouds followed by imminent thunderstorms and rain.

Sometimes I sit down and think, I realized that I have very few friends that I can really rely on. How limited my friends are and how limited this life can do for me.

Seven days without laughter makes one weak. - Joel Goodman

Karma by Cokelat
Sekian lama kita bersama
Ternyata kau juga
Sama saja

Kau kira kupercaya semua
S'gala tipu daya
Oh percuma

Kau buat sempurna awalnya
Berakhir bencana

Selamat tinggal sayang...
Bila umurku panjang
Kelak ku 'kan datang
'Tuk buktikan satu balas 'kan kau jelang
Jangan menangis sayang
Ku ingin kau rasakan pahitnya terbuang
Sia-sia, memang kau pantas dapatkan

Akhirnya, usai sudah semua
Kudapat tertawa
Bahagia

S'lalu tampak indah awalnya
Berakhir bencana....

[soundbites]
Cokelat - Karma

Weird case weirdos

The festive mood started to fade away in me.

My sis went back to KL and this month is filled with friends flying off to overseas. One has gone back to Auz.

I shifted the ‘cd tower’ of mine from my room to the computer place to make my desk more spacious. My desk still looks like a mess and I need to tidy it up before the start of college soon.

Looking at this crystal bracelet that I’m wearing, I wonder why I bought it in the first place. I was never into crystals and the whole hype. I suppose it is because it was my mom who paid for it and I see there’s no harm in wearing it I guess.

It was so freaking hot and I can’t help but to wear my usual cargo shorts. I just can’t bring myself to wear pants. The weird thing is, I saw one young guy driving a Hyundai Sonata enjoying his lollipop. That was my first encounter of seeing a guy with a lollipop. Heheh.

I should check out this one new club near ss soon. ;)
Do you find it weird that I listen to Frank Sinatra?
And a pack of Strepsils which, consists of 4 antiseptic lozenges costs rm2.20. dammit.

[soundbites]
Dixie Chicks – Landslide

Fighter

After all you put me through
You'd think I despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
'Cause you make me that much stronger

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're going round
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
No more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now
And never back down
So I wanna say thank you

How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget
But I remember
I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember...

Predictable Impact

*yawns*
I feel so sleepy. It was practically traffic jams everywhere you go. Well, except for the roads around tanjung bungah of course. And of course the roads are bumpy around my face. festive season mar.

hung out with Precilla and Kam. both nutty as usual. a bit grown up. we talked about penyeledupan and we intended to go clubbing tonight. Precilla was going to get us all drunk with the price of her rolex watch or two Tiffany & Co.'s rings. whichever it is. rough. dahsyat.

now i can officially say that Dome in Island Plaza is better than the one in Gurney. why would anyone want to serve lemon in their plain ice water to the customers? and the ppl working there always smells of excessive alcohol and smoke.

tonight's dinner was okay. it started off with me feeling like an outcast. lost the rubber of my plug. thinking of how miserable i am and how my future will be made me lost appetite. the food was okay and i fricking want a samsung true-i. this is going to be a wholesome year.

i also sense that i will be extremely delirium this month. oh goodie. (i hope i get the word right, cuz im short of vocabs. go ahead and call me 'tut' or rather a dingbat.)

things are so typical.

can't wait to go back to college.

3 DOORS DOWN - "When I'm Gone"

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...

Maybe I'm just blind...

[chorus]
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

[chorus]

Maybe I'm just blind...

[chorus]

Love me when I'm gone...

[soundbites]
Coldplay - The Scientist
3 Doors Down - When I'm Gone

New Layout

the new layout is up and I hope it's working fine.

nowadays we got license to play with firecrackers. yay!
oh and I get to drive. Wheeeeeeeeeee~

+ Parin + Nantha + V + Ash + Jon + Alvin + Jasdev + Rishant + Santhanan + Johan + Kel (as usual, miss calls.. Ppddffftt!) + Goppal + Jason + Kam + SekLeng + Angeline +

talk about surprises and all. THESE people are freaky.

[soundbites]
Haze - Changes (Ben Watt Lazy Dog Remix)