Friday.

I woke up feeling dizzy and a wee bit disappointed. Besides that, I've been coughing and taking out those phlegm and then my face got a bit flushed with pink, or red for my case. It's really pathetic. I was feeling rather down for a bit there when I woke up. I felt lost and bane.

Needless to say, I had my lunch alone when I drove to town in the afternoon. Sneakers hunting turned out to be nothing. I was stuck in a jam and waited for a really and very long line in order to get a parking place. I have to go up all the way to the roof top. Around komtar and pragin I walked but I couldnt find a suitable one. They dont have Frankencylde no more.

And I missed out on Survivor. :( Just because a friend came back from KL. But it was alright because I get to sit in a black Perdana V6 third generation. Dammit, she's SO SO lucky and I LOVE her car to bits. *hugs and kisses* Mwuahahahahaaa... :D

We wanted to go some mamak place but then it was all full and there were no parking. Sigh, so we went to DOME instead. We talked and laughed and we're on our own. It's a pity that I cant have my fav chicken and mushroom pie because earlier I had dinner with my family at Golden Inn BBQ Steamboat Buffet thingy. I was full then. What a waste. :/

Oh, Happy Birthday to Chooks and she moved to a new domain.

Saturday.

Since my sister is back and being such a troublesome whining bitch, she would want to go out to have our meals. So mom will be extra 'generous' and we would have to drive her here and there. I really dont mind going out to have dinner, and I dont mind spending more on food since she cant have Penang food in KL. The truth is, she is afraid that my mom or whoever that cooks the meals in the house would have put some "jampi" in the food and she wouldnt want to be a fool.

What the hey, who wants to be a fool? Who would want to poison her own daughter? Who would want to poison her own sister?

Besides, she's so damn religious and holy. God will surely protect her. Not to mention that she is very careful and if I may say, too careful. She'd be suspecting everybody in the family and be stuck up enough to some jackass.

Fcuk, just be logical and relavant.
Dont think you will understand. Drop it.

Anyway the whole saturday was spent outside. I was here and there, accompanying my sister and then went to the hair dresser to do some straightening treatment thingy. Pfdt, my whole afternoon or rather saturday is gone.

FARKKKKKK!!!

I was suppose to go out on saturday night, went clubbing or something. But it was all screwed and spoiled!

The same goes to a weed party, supposedly of couse. Dammit.

What a rotten egg.

Sunday.

Waking up and feeling lost is like a trend to me now. Its such a bastard that has been bothering me since that day he didnt return my call. You need not have a knife to kill someone.

Got up and had to face my annoying cousin sister. What a bitch who whines and complains and do nothing good to any godsucking ducklings.

What a fcuking annoyance in the family.

Ka-pheesh. Yada yada yada..

Then.. what happened was.. but I wont fill you in the details. So basically we bumped into one blardy bargee bitch who took our table away and just being boorishly rude and pathetically uncivillized. Oh she has a poodle husband following her like furless tail wagging. I was angry inside and was about to throw my fuming fireballs squarely straight at her face but then I kept calm seeing that she's just another "bak-hu" seller who is uneducated and has got no class or whatsoever.

I thought, FCUK YOU bitch. *shows middle finger*

Anyway, Im gonna wash cars later in the evening. Yay~ :D

And since you've read what has been going on for the past few days, perhaps you could do something for me now.

Pray for me cuz Im so goth these days I dont think God likes me and that Im not geeky enough.

Pray really hard for me so that I can managed to finish doing my revision on time for Operations Management paper this Wednesday.

Now go!

[soundbites]
A Perfect Circle - Judith

Happy Deepavali!

After dinner with mom, I went to my god bro's place to stop by for a pre-Diwali visit and I was there for almost two hours of talking and cracking up jokes. Now that wasnt a stop by, was it? Hmmm, real fun talking to him and then he introduced his gf to me. She's so timidly cute and she's so fair! Hehe, I cant wait to try out the murrukus and kurmak and all those delicious delicacies during this festive season! :D

Oh well, my car *might* get into the workshop again for fixing. Stupid, stupid.

My sister is coming back tomorrow!

Im going to hunt down a pair of sneakers no matter what. ;) and find some essential information about universities or colleges.

Now I have some explainations to do.

Have a great weekend. Nites. :)

[soundbites]
Jessica Andrews - Who I Am

Geeky. :B

Had my Budgeting exam just now. Whoah. It's done, it's over. Hell yeah. But oh boy, my eyes are really sore and sitting here aint helping me either. :/

It's amazing how I sat on this wooden chair and table for almost five hours doing revision. It's so pathetic. But what the heck, I managed to do that and only slept for five hours, got up again and went college.

Phew, gonna put that idling-in-the-fridge cooling eye mask and facial mask to good use. I bought candles to soothe me too. Tee hee!

Now if only somone is here. Hmmmm.

After exam just now, some classmates and I went near komtar to have our lunch and boy, I really took everything down until I realized that I had too much. lolz. It's really funny a bowl of "Lor Mee" costs rm1.70 only! What a deal.

Wow, and there were traffic jams here and there. What a killer. Haha. :D I bumped into coupla people on the road, but no one waved at me. Hmmmm. *scratches head* Oh well.. :D

Oh oh! My car is back on the road!! Im SO happy. *grins*
Now if only I have a cd player in the car. :/
But it's alright, Im happy that he carries me here and there. Yes, you heard me, I said he. Hehe!! :P

Humph, radio station is like you know, ewww.

Wait! Randall did waved at me. Hmmmm.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahh, and Ive paid my phone bills.

Alright, Im hitting the sack.

And when I wake up again, Im gonna be a geek.. for like until next month.

All hail~
Geeky Likki! Woohoo~

.. for a change, of course. :D

[soundbites]
Everclear - I Will Buy You A New Life

Onani.

Hello. Good morning.

I'm off to college to do some slacking revision that I've missed out on. Then exams tomorrow. Budgeting. Wish me luck.

It's good to listen to The Cardigan's Communication. The song is so beautiful. You should check it out. I'm loving it and looping it. :)

Hmm.. I checked my email account and I've got like four emails to reply. Tsk.. some are really and I mean REALLY overdue. Tskk... will get to that later. :/

Reminder to self: Remember to take HIM's cd along with me for driving's pleasure. His Infernal Majesty!!! |m|

So how are you today?

Elocution Please.

My day turned out to be nothing but just another rainy day.

I managed to sleep for 5 hours, got up, sat in front of the pc again and finished up my assignment which is due today. Brrr.. it's really amazing how I can manage to finish it in three days.

Obviously feeling very tired and restless, I went to college to pass up that assignment and my phone was causing some problems.

Nevermind that. I was waiting for a miracle to happen.

And it didnt stop raining and my exhaution aint going away.

With dropping eyelids and heavy sneakers, I dragged myself back from wherever I was and went home.

Stripped everything off, put on shorts and shirt which is twice my size and cooked myself one humongous bowl of instant noodle. Bah, just cant get myself to buy something.

Pfdt.

Straight away, I hit the sack. Everything's so serene with this kind of weather but my head was making me tossing and turning.

Just woke up couple of minutes ago and I felt like Ive missed out on loads of things. Maybe I just need a lil motivation. Maybe now I cant take it anymore. Maybe I need a company now.

I still feel very full in the stomach. I bet my digestion system didnt work just now. Must have been the fag that I missed out after meal.

[soundbites]
Sarah McLachlan - Fear

Bad shit.

Friends came around my house and I wasn't all dressed up yet when they arrived. I just grabbed a short and shirt, put them on and then left. We nicely sat down at a chill out place along gurney and began talking and enjoying each other's company. Suddenly a friend came out of no where, a good friend, a charming fellow. He grabbed a chair and sat in the same table with us, ordered a drink and so the both of us started talking away leaving my two friends talking to each other. I felt bad but I couldn't help it, he kept talking away and I was engaged with his work related stories.

Then my friends decided that they want to go in the mall and walk around, so they left. The both of us are still chatting away. After a while, he got to make a move and so I asked for the bill. I thought I have enough money to pay for everything so I insisted that he need not have to pay his share and he, in return insisted again because he is working so I settled with it. The bill came and like I said, I *thought* I had enough.. I only have 15 left in my purse!! Dammit, I was so embarrassed to ask him for extra and well, I did in the end. I was so so SO embarrassed!!!! I flushed and blushed and kept on apologizing. I promised him that I would belanja him back one day. Good god, I regretted for not getting ready in the first place and I would have had enough money to pay for everything. I regretted for buying that pack of fags in the first place, that would have left me with enough money to pay for the damn bill. Owwwww, I felt so bad dammit.

Then I rejoined my friends and they paid for their share to me and I tried calling him just so that I can return him the money. But unfortunately to no avail. I even sent him a message but until now it has not been sent. Sheesh, I'm still feeling bad inside, I even tried looking for him in the complex after a short while. Bahhhh. Im still flushing!!! :(

Anyways I saw the latest Petronas Deepavali advertisement. It's really entertaining and interesting! It left me laughing for couple of minutes after that. What a killer. It's really hilarious and hey, most of all it is true in the society today. Really thought provoking. :)

Okay, of feeling bad and hilariously laughed, I'm going back to do my assignment.

Big day tomorrow.

Plague.

Tormented with rules of your liking
With the darkness of compulsion
I bite my tongue for being nice
I bite my nails for being depress

Wrapped up with coercion of oppression
I smoke for more damage
Seeking for solitude and peace
Hoping to find myself

Please understand me.

You've got time, babe?

It started drizzling again.
Im in need to bump a fag with someone. Anybody cares to entertain me?

I've got the Soul.

Kumbayahhh, Ive been burping the whole night, probabaly put on weight, pilling up on loads of cholestral and calories and I mean blardy frigging TONS of them.

Good god.. I had home cooked maggie mee with extra veggies, mushrooms, tomatoes and chili sauce. Heh saucy alright ;) Then I had baby carrots, baby tomatoes and some other stuffs that you put in a salad bowl.. oh and with Pringles to spice things up a bit. I even had classic pretzels dipped into Nutella.. OooOooooo Aaaaaaaahhh.. Chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. Yummy. *slurps* :D

That was in the afternoon. Then night time came, went celebrating bday with a friend at a Steamboat BBQ Buffet thingy. Swallowed down another tons of seafood and namely stuffs that I dont know how to name them. Peeeesshhh. Im blardy full and a blardy happy pig. Heh.

I dont quite get people sometimes. A person who manage to get pretty much everything but still complains about not having enough items to store on their racks and cupboards. Its a wee bit pathetic I can tell you. Not saying that they dont deserve to complain but I just think that they should not complain. Oh heck, it should be mind over matters and that they should feel contented. Sometimes you just need to look at the bright side. Im sure it takes a lil while to pick up from where you left it but come on, give it a go, give it a shot, it might just worth the time and effort. Hence, If there is a will, there is a way. Period.

I just think that people deserve to be happy.

Oh hell and Im happy with my size and with the food that I gulped down my throat just now. Tee hee!

Michelle was voted out this week on Survivor. I still thinks that Jon should get gone and get lost. What an idiot. *roll eyes*

Hmm just had an idea. I can use the Pringles canister to fill in my ashes and ciggie butts. Hmmm... now that would be a horrifying sight if I got them full in two weeks with all the pressures suffocating me.

Now.. lie down with exhaustion on your back and breathe the night air with an open heart. Gosh, it will feel nice once insomnia gets out of the way.

Good night. :)

[soundbites]
Sigur Ros - Untitled

Yada.

My god bro called me yesterday and I was relieved. Im glad in fact.
Ive been in need of a place for me to whine and cry. I know am such a wuss :)
Well the both of us are really a natural born whiner and I had a good time whining, yay. His car was sent to the workshop for repair too and it has been almost hell hole for him for the past two weeks and we have been sick too. Heh.

Such coincidence.

Im in need to finish up my assignment yall, gotta hand it in this Monday. *frown*
Oh well, what the heck, Im going to catch a movie now. FOC. *winks*

Toodle-oos! *waves!*

[soundbites]
Evanescence - Tourniquet

Just published.

A friend came to me when I was bumping fags with a friend in SA2. She said, hey I saw you in the newspaper! LOLZ. Oh yeah I was in the newspaper alright. Heh. I was featured in Monday's The Star newspaper. Check me out if you like. Im sure I have some stalkers here reading my blog anyway. So whats the difference?

Its 7.51pm now, I would have still be in college if I were to wait for a miracle to happen.

Today's nonchalant.. Everything's mellow and Im feeling a wee bit goth. It gets frustrating to drive in a 1.5 car. Har har, as if I can afford a better one. I want my old junk back. :( The best part about this car is that I get to listen to CDs and CDs, though its just a single disc player. :P

My homework is stacking up and Im not doing anything about it. God... and having a proper meal is so rare for me after this semester starts. Not to mention lately, the insomnia disturbance running in my system at night.

I need someone to take my mind off things. I have to face reality and it shucks.

I'm hungryyyyyyyyyy.. :(

[soundbites]
Third Eye Blind - Motorcycle Drive By

Suckie.

Class sucked today.. and I *thought* of becoming a project manager. Fcuk, this aint gonna work.

After class, I got into my car and one bastard honked me while I was reversing.. well you dont go reversing your car with the speed of 60 right? I think I was reversing with less than 15 on the scale and this fella honked me like Im a frigging kid on the wheel. Bah.
It was raining then and when I was around town area, it got heavier and traffic jam here and there. Oh and I accidentally *spalshed* some water on a poor motorcyclist, sowee!
This reminded me that before going to class, there's a malay motorcyclist who yelled at me or perhaps cursed at me while I clearly did put on my indicator light to turn into my college. Bastard, open up your eyes and look, you nitwit!!!
I would have show you my tongue and give you a "Pfdt!!!".

I hate driving all the way to college. Plus, my old junk was sent to the workshop for a week. Hopefully everything will be alright then.

Yesterday I didnt have enough sleep although I went to bed early. It nicely took me an hour to be able to fall asleep.. then I woke up at 2.30! Again, it took me another two damn hours to go back to bed.. This time around, I woke up at 6, checking on my phone.. went back to sleep and my annoying white fluffy and skinny dog was barking like nobody's business until I wake up. I checked and it was nothing, just the mailman. *cries* Why cant I have a proper sleep? :(

I've gone sneakers hunting lately but to no avail.. all of them looks the same to me and none of them look nice. Sigh. But it was all cool after the really heavy lunch that I had at a place called Chef Elmo. Kewt. :D

Hmmmm.. Im getting myself busy for this coming two weeks. List? Presentation this Friday, two assignments, quizes and finals are coming up. *frown* and I cant afford to fail any of the subjects!

Phew. Im going to take my shower and wash my hair to cool down.

Pass me some fags and wish me luck.

[soundbites]
NIN - The Perfect Drug

By Jingo!

Come on, go ahead and ask me how Im feeling now. Heh Im sucking on a chuppa chups' gum lollipop and feeling happy.

Yes, you heard me, HAPPY.

After two weeks of almost hell hole, there's a change of the wind direction. Its going up and its lifting my spirits. Awesome.

I was feeling kind of hyper before attending the Rev-Elation thingy held yesterday at Swettenham Pier. Yeah I saw Craig David performed LIVE.. for one hour and 45 minutes *grins* Some of you may think that Im a fcuking loser but some of you might go wild with me. Either way but this is once in a lifetime opportunity and I was fcuking there to see him perform. He raps, he's got amazing voice, he's a smooth groover and I think he's sexay. ;)

And the best part?

I got in for free. Oh yes, FREE babeh, FREE!!! *eyes lighted up*

Im so thankful to a good friend of mine, he's the one who got me the free tickies. Ahak, I got SO hyped up I kissed him on the cheek! lolz. Im so outrageous. :D

There was a gamestation where you can just go in and play games like Tekken(?), snowboarding, basketball, motor racing, car racing and etc. It was real cool. Why? They let you use PlayStation2!! There were also a mini skatepark or smth, dunno how you label it. It was all good.

Overall, I really had fun. Made coupla friends, bumped into coupla friends, partied and it was all fun-tastic.

Its great to be able to meet friendly people, it made me smile. But despite that there is this guy who managed to sneak in his digicam, he was standing in front of me, so the sight of a digicam made me went ballistic and I asked him whether he can send those pics of Craigie to me, he replied 'yeah sure' and then turned his attention back at Craig. I mean how the hell are you going to send me those piccies you bastard? Aint you going to ask me for my emaill addy or smth?

What can I say, typical china-fied chinese. TYPICAL. *geram*

But then anyways lets not get all worked up.. It was a dream come true. Heh, bear with me pls. :P

Another best part was that I had DOME yesterday. I really fcuked my financial problem, went for it and I was happy with each and every bite and every second that I was there. I was hyper then. Really Really hyper. Even a friend who chatted with me can sense my hyperness through virtual world. Uber hyper. :D

Sera! I HAD DOME!!!!!!! :D

This morning I woke up and mind you, I didnt have enough sleep, I started to think that its a beautiful day, I dont want to miss it. So I got up and washed my hair, came down from my room and I can smell the aroma of mummy's cooking! Kunyit fried chicken! *yummy* Cant remember the last time I had home cooked food though. Heh so I had double plate of rice.. again Im a happy pig.

Then a good friend of mine came back for a while from down under and the both of us went Gurney to lepak for a bit, bumped into a really old high school friend, chatted for a bit and we had raspberry drink and a slice of banana cake at starbucks. Yummy.

And I got myself a new friend who called me just now. Heheh, you know who you are. *winks*

I am SO happy, you hear me?
IM SO HAPPY.

[soundbites]
Royksopp - Poor Leno

Asphyxiate.

You just want authority.
You just wanna feel powerful and superior.
That makes you feel good inside.
You never supported me in anything.
Not in terms of actions, words, concession, permission, confrontation, materials.
Zilch.
I started to think that I'm nothing to you.
And I'm nothing to myself.
I'm worthless, faithless and in vain.
I'm in this compulsion that I hate.

You keep me in a cage,
The more I need to rage.
Chain me, cane me, smother me,
Can someone take me away?

I almost fell for the advice,
I can stay in my cage,
Yes I shouldn't stay in my cage,
Of all the pain and darkness,
I could hardly stay in my cage,
No damn it, not my cage,
I'm starting to feel numb,
Everything that I do is a mistake,
I swallow my own bitterness for your convenience.

I'm forced to stay in this phase,
I'm in a compulsion you've created for me,
I'm desperate to get out,
I need to get out and grow up.

[soundbites]
Sigur Ros - Agaetis Byrjun

Ah, sunshine.

No more rain and no more muddy water. My car is safe from dirt and all that.

Thank gawd it stopped raining cuz I just washed my car yesterday.

Hmm am now in my college's cyber cafe.

I'm going home to do my presentation shit.

Anyone wanna buy me tickies to Craigie's?

I've tried getting free tickies from Hitz but to no avail..

I feel sad for not going..

And my lecturer is sitting next to me using the internet as well. Hiaks, he is the lecturer for the class that I skipped just now. :/

Not good..

Quickie.

I'm quite happy about the fact that it's Friday.

But at the same time I've got problems on my shoulders waiting for me to solve it or will I ever going to solve it?

I'm currently having a financial problem here. Arent we all?

I'm not sure why am Im feeling a bit down now. A friend suggested that perhaps it's the exams that are just around the corner, but usually studies don't drag me down. They do in some ways but not until I'd be smoking more than I'm suppose to. Well now I have a so called 'budget' for my daily fag dosage.

Frankly, it has been a pretty bad week for me. But to stay positive, I told myself that at least this week has been a better one than the last. Been a bad week no doubt.

I got stressed for no particular reason at all, well, at least I don't know exactly what is bothering me. The previous week was like a drama for me. I got all worked up and tensed. Frequent angry outbursts. That scares me the most because the last time I got really angry, it was like ages ago. I thought I'm way past that angst-ridden phase. Then I got on with life like nothing happened and just lazing around.

Looking outside, it started drizzling again. Rain is something natural and it soothes me at times and I'm sure most people like it. But do you know that too much of rain causes havoc and it gets you feeling moody as well?

Perhaps that was the reason why I was all moody last week and perhaps even now. I'm like a walking rain detector. I sense rain and I'll get moody.

Ho hum, I need something to cheer me up. Im going out.

I skipped the 10am class today and I will be having a test in the afternoon. Wish me luck and wish me well.

Pray for me that someday I will find myself.

[soundbites]
Mogwai - Cody

I'm a pregnant woman.

I HAVE A SUDDEN CRAVING FOR ROTI CANAI, ROTI SALAD AND ROTI HONG KONG!

OH OH AND DOME TOO!

AND MILD SEVEN!

AND PRINGLES!

AND MCDONALDS!

OWWW..

You want a piece of me.

A hungry man is an angry man.

I havent had anything since 7 pm yesterday. The low down is that Im a vegetarian today so I cant simply take anything from the fridge, may it be leftovers from Tuesday's supper or the tempting chocolate bars. Garh.

Gaaarrrrrrhhhhh.

Plus it's raining biggie big cats and big scary doggies here. Wind blowing so strongly that I just wanna stay home and eat my heart out. Oh and did I tell you that today there's an indie gig? Shucks.. cant go to that either.

Yknow yesterday I was having my afternoon nap right, then someone called me up and screwed up my plan so I nonchalantly hung up. But deep down inside, fuming Minnie Mie is lighted up with burning fireballs of angst waiting to get out of there. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. Finally I let out a short but freaking loud ROAR.

Hmm, that felt good at that time. I thought more about it, another roar.

.. and another one..

.. and another one..

until I got fed up on my own stupidity.

I even kept punching on the wall until I got fed up too. Pfdt.

Aiya.. this is stupid man.

Then I sat in front of the tv for 6 hours.

Ok, friend just sms-ed me saying that the gig starts at 3 insteadof 1, so still got time to drive my heavy angst-ridden self to the gig.

Bye.

Might get pierced, have to get a pair of new sneakers and I spotted a goddamn Ella Fitzgerald's 3 cds pack with her greastest hits that only costs rm43.90, great buy. Haha see if Im feeling rich then I'll buy or else any kind souls out there?

Ok baskets, bye for now.

[soundbites]
Ella Fitzgerald - I Got Rhythm

Minnie Mie on the loose.

Fcuk, I have a sudden urge for piercing.

.. and Ive had like quite a number of angst-ridden outbursts for this week.

Baadddd.

Poof the hell out of me.

.. and guess what, I feel bad.

Eventually Im feeling better after staying calm and keep on telling myself to be calm.

Its the rain I guess, or just the monthly thing?

Im not usually like that.

I hope it pass.. and it will pass.

Oww, my head hurts and damn runny nose, I shall pass out tonight on my own company, the pit pattering and sounds of me breathing the air.